The behavior of narcissists often mirror that which one would expect from a toddler. The temper tantrums, short attention spans, and neediness of an individual with narcissistic personality disorder is much like that of a young child. When a victim breaks the silence and “tattle-tales” on the narcissist’s true self, he immediately gets hyper-defensive and goes out of his way to prove he is not what he’s being made out to be.
This is annoying, no doubt, but it will also work to the advantage of those hoping to “out” the narcissist. Therefore, it’s important to be patient and allow the narcissist to expose himself. You see, when injury is inflicted and this person becomes determined to prove his own character, he often only digs his hole deeper. The response may convince a child the narcissist isn’t a manipulative control freak, but a grown adult will immediately see through the façade.
Anyone who needs to call a place of business and drone on for half an hour about why his ex is crazy and she is really the one responsible for the medical bills, or for their child’s misbehavior, or for his termination from his last position, obviously has well-rooted confidence issues. A full-fledged speech on why the narcissist is the actual victim of every circumstance in which he obviously instigated and everyone else is so mean just solidifies the fact that this individual is mentally unstable and unable to self-reflect.
It can be difficult to live in narcissist’s intimate space and feel fully the wrath of his temper, bouts of anger and aggression, only to have him turn around and project himself in a completely different light while in the public eye. You may feel for a while as if you are suffering in silence. However, every victim inevitably comes to understand what this individual’s kryptonite is…
Narcissists cannot be made to feel as if they are going to be exposed. They cannot be made to feel as if they are losing control.
So, the next time you are in a difficult situation with a narcissist in which you feel backed into a corner trying to convince others of the narcissist’s true self after experiencing the mind-numbing games, remember the best thing to do is allow him to do it for you. In other words, the best response you can have is no response at all. Wait for the narcissist to reveal his true colors. It’s only a matter of time.
Yes, sometimes it takes more than one interaction before an outsider begins to understand the nature of the narcissist. But, you’ll find that other times, their intuition kicks in immediately. Regardless, it’s only a matter of time before the narcissist slips up and a light bulb goes on. Keep being your amazing self, always stay true to yourself, and realize that your suffering will not go unnoticed.