It’s never easy to face difficult circumstances in life. Yet, inevitably we are thrown off track every once in a while and must tackle our priorities head on. If we choose to look the other way, eventually, things will only get more overwhelming.
Avoidance is self-sabotaging behavior. This occurs when there is something important that needs to be done but we chose to do something less important, but which provides immediate gratification. Let’s say, for instance, you’re under deadline for a work project, but choose to go out with friends instead. While this decision will take your mind off of what really needs to be done in the short run, you’ll have still have to face your colleagues and explain why you didn’t complete your work. Having to do so is embarrassing and, thus, the long-term consequences are clearly worse than the satisfaction received from going out. And, yet, avoidance behaviors are common in the post-trauma state.
Why is this? For one, it can feel easier to avoid facing toxicity rather acknowledging it and accepting it as a part of ourselves. But, when we suppress this piece, it becomes more of a burden than if we simply choose to face and release it. Over time, the latter is the easier decision, because we don’t have to dwell on the past any longer. We can practice acceptance and move past the past.
Life is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, and we have to embrace it all in order to continue moving forward effectively. When trauma happens and we’re able to make it out physically, we have to remember to do so mentally and emotionally as well. If we don’t, we’re forever imprisoned in a chaotic state, and avoidance will only ensure we stay stuck. In fact, it will ensure the past becomes even more ever-present and more difficult to shake.
When you choose to confront toxicity, doing so with a trusted family member, friend, or counselor can help the process significantly. You can also jot down your thoughts and feelings in a journal and commit to healing from the inside out by developing sustainable self-care strategies.
Healing from trauma is difficult. But it is possible. And, it is only possible if you summon the courage to confront the past rather than continue carrying it with you. Release this from your present and step successfully into this next phase.