Communal gaslighting involves the manipulation of others within the narcissist’s community, including his family members, coworkers and direct reports, and acquaintances who believe they are friends of the narc. It’s a way to get others to side with the narcissist and do his bidding. It allows him to carry out his underhanded tactics with little resistance. Communal gaslighting is also commonly used when the narc wishes to incite a smear campaign against an individual that refuses to comply. By doing so, he isolates the target, eliminating her social supports. This form of gaslighting can be particularly dangerous because it involves the brainwashing of groups of people who become willing to see the narc’s point-of-view and help to carry out his sadistic intentions.
Communal gaslighting commonly plays out in the workplace as the narcissist rises to a position of power and his authority over others. This is the perfect spot for the narcissist to be in to begin to carry out mass manipulation. Those who are his direct reports will have very real consequences if they choose to oppose him. A toxic mix of fear and brainwashing ensues until the narc has gained allies, also called his “flying monkeys,” willing to carry out what he wants.
Communal narcissists also isolate victims through establishing community with others. They draw in those closest to the victim in order to incite smear campaigns. When their efforts are deemed successful, they’ve drawn in the victim’s closest friends and family, brainwashing them into severing ties with the victim altogether. This provides an ultimate dose of narcissistic supply as the narc feels he’s won a war that, in reality, only he was fighting.
You’re either for the communal or against him. There is no in between. And because it’s easier to go with the flow than against the grain, victims often stay where they’re at much longer than they should with particularly damaging results. If you feel you’ve been a victim of communal gaslighting, either by being manipulated into doing the narc’s bidding or by being isolated from family and friends, it’s time to cut the cord with this toxic person. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help in order to heal.