Let’s talk about the concept of ‘fake it until you make it.’ This concept is one that is commonplace in recovery programs and it can also be used to recover from trauma. Oftentimes, when we first enter into the post-traumatic state, we feel lost. We are so used to living in chaos, we are left with feelings of anxiety that it will reoccur, depression because we felt disconnected from self, guilt because we feel we allowed ourselves to experience what we did, and a whole host of other, negative emotions. This is why it is common to develop post-traumatic stress disorder.
To ‘fake it until you make it’ essentially means making a conscious effort to move beyond that pivotal point of no return (the turning point) and focus on healing. It likely will not be easy to make this decision, and thus, we must fake feeling better until we actually feel better. It takes time and patience, and a renewed conscious effort to care for ourselves each and every day.
The healing process can feel impossible, especially in the early stages, and it is important never to deny or downplay what occurred and what you survived. Instead, fully acknowledge and accept how difficult it was so you begin to truly understand how strong and able you are. You survived and this should never be forgotten.
Recite positive affirmations and continually reconnect with yourself, evaluating how you feel in each given moment. Are you still having to fake it? Whenever the answer to this is ‘yes,’ don’t get discouraged. Know that this is very natural part of the process. Eventually, the answer will be ‘no,’ and you will be able to move beyond ‘just getting by’ to gratefully thriving.
‘Fake it until you make it.’ Go easy on yourself and take things one step at a time, one day at a time. Healing won’t happen overnight and anytime you are disheartened by this fact, ask yourself, “Am I the same as I was ten years ago, five years ago, last month?” You are an ever-evolving human being and you deserve self-derived patience. You will achieve your goals if you can quiet that inner critic and reframe negative thought patterns.
When you make a conscious effort to make self-care part of your daily routine, you will begin to see its rewards. Remember to stay balanced and make time for those things that bring you happiness. By doing so, you will ‘make it’ and realize the blessings of sustainable healing.