The grandiose narcissist, also called a somatic narcissist, is the “textbook narc,” the one we read the most about. Because much of the published literature and resources are focused on this pathology, understanding if you are in the presence of another type of narcissist can be difficult. This is because not all narcissists are primarily concerned with their outward appearance, career and bank account and ensuring they are the center of attention at all times, like the grandiose type. Yes, these are typical features of narcissists. However, only the grandiose type will flaunt these things to the fullest extent. They are the flashy, boisterous, arrogant, and all-too-good-looking narcs who love to gaslight their victims into believing they will remain faithful in relationships but never do. Like other types, they only care about ingratiating themselves and view those sharing their intimate space as supply.
The reason that much of the focus is on this type could stem from the original story of Narcissus who was obsessed with his image in the water – so much so it led to his demise. In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter who was known for his outward beauty. Narcissus was proud, demanding others to take their own lives to prove their devotion to him. One day, Narcissus walked up to a pool of water and decided to drink some. He saw his reflection and became so entranced by it he killed himself because he could not have his object of desire.
This is the origin for the term narcissism and depicts the focus of the grandiose narc on outward appearance. What’s less obvious is that he uses this fixation on appearance to mask deep-seated shame, often (like Narcissus) to his own undoing. For example, these particular narcs have a problem with aging and narcissistic rage is often easily incited when they feel they can no longer keep up with the aging process.
Take the movie American Psycho for example. Christian Bale plays a somatic narcissist who goes to excessive lengths to maintain his outward appearance. He presents as a well-known and well-respected member of society who spends his time behind closed doors keeping his beauty intact. However, his inward aggression makes its way out and he eventually goes on a killing spree, which leads to his tragic downfall. This is an exaggerated representation of what it’s likely when narcissistic rage is unleashed. It’s not to say that it causes the individual to turn into a serial killer, but it shows just how difficult it is for the narcissist to contain the shame he feels inside in order to keep up with the false façade.
Grandiose narcissists tend to get a ton of attention – they go to great lengths to make sure of it. They are extremely charismatic and charming and others are drawn to them. This is precisely why they are particularly dangerous.