Chances are if you were drawn to an abusive partner and are lucky enough to escape and analyze what the heck happened, you’ll begin to consider the reasons why you were sucked in to begin with. This is a healthy part of abuse recovery, especially when the abuser was a romantic partner. Only by taking the time to figure out what about us attracted this negativity can we try to ensure it never happens again. Empaths and co-dependents have to especially beware of the risks of repeating a toxic cycle over and over again.
In self-reflection, there is a high probability you will discover that you attracted an abuser because you possess empathic qualities. Empaths often, consciously or not, welcome those who are toxic because these individuals desperately want what the empath has to offer. This is why abusers such as narcissists and others in the dark triad or Cluster B’s are often referred to as ‘energy vampires.’ They seek out positivity and suck it out of those willing to offer it until the well has run dry. Then, they simply shrug their shoulders, perform a discard, and move onto the next. To them it’s no harm, no foul – to you it’s completely life-changing.
If you’ve discovered through healing and acceptance that you have relatively open energy and could be considered empathic, you may then try to seek answers to follow-up queries regarding this ability. Once we’ve reached this point, we begin to notice if those around us, who we let into our space, evoke positive or negative energy-based feelings. If you’ve made it to this point, you have awakened.
The next logical step is to try to start forming tangible words that describe how others make you feel. This will serve to heighten your awareness of your own energy and the energy of others. Putting a name to each of the feelings you are experiencing will help you understand who in your environment is healthy and who you might consider toxic.
An important thing to remember is that like attracts like.
This is the concept of the law of attraction. So, if you are placing negative terminology on many different people in your energy field, shift your focus back to yourself. What are you doing, saying or feeling that is attracting so much negativity and what can you do to turn this on its head, eliminate the bad you’ve already welcomed in and begin to attract more good into your life?
If you make a conscious effort to shift your own energy to be positive – meaning you consciously manifest positivity through positive thoughts, feelings, and actions – most of the negativity will not stick around. The energy vampires will linger and this is something that is vital to be aware of, but others who were simply drawn to the doom and gloom being projected will quietly take off. Once your field begins to clear, you will then understand what more needs to be done on a very conscious level to push out any lingering bad and replace this space with good.
If you stopped reading somewhere in the middle because this all seems too pie-in-the-sky and intangible this is not for you. However, if you eagerly read what needs to happen next, you’ve probably been doing some internal work and you understand that you have an empathic energy about you. You may be worried that you will continue to attract only energy vampires and this good quality will only ever be used for bad. But, it won’t. This is only a self-fulfilling prophecy if you let it be. Empaths only attract negativity if they allow it. If you continue to worry and overanalyze every connection you’re making, you will continue to attract negativity. Like attracts like, remember?
So put out feel-good frequencies (empaths tend to do this naturally) and you’ll be much more likely to receive the same in return. We must make a choice to take a chance or things will never change. Don’t worry too much about the future. Focus on what you can do right now to improve your life. Then, do it.
Break the silence. Break the cycle.