By: Sara E. Teller
Long-term narcissistic abuse comes with some devastating consequences. By now, most people know that repeated emotional trauma can lead to both PTSD and C-PTSD, which may be reason enough to leave an abusive partner. But now, neuroscientists and physicians are finding through their research that living with a narcissist can also impact the brain in very significant ways.
Brain damage tends to occur in victims who have lived with abusers for a long time. It is an especially concerning consequence of continually being gaslighted, manipulated and wielded into a depressive state with statements that make victims feel unworthy. Narcissistic abuse can derail a person’s sense of self, and over time, this has very real, tangible effects on the brain.
Repeated emotional injuries begin to decrease the size of the hippocampus, which is responsible for both memory and learning. In addition to these functions, it also stores vital emotions such as fear, grief, guilt, envy, and shame.
The hippocampus is a paired structure that is found inside of the temporal and is specifically vital for maintaining an individual’s short-term memory. Numerous clinical studies now show that the longer you stay with a narcissistic partner, the more deterioration of the hippocampus will occur. This means, the longer you stay, the more likely memories will fade, and emotional regulation will become very difficult.
These parts of your brain are also responsible for the fight, flight, freeze or fawn reaction which is a primal state that is instilled in all human beings to fend off perceived threats in the environment. Victims of narcissistic abuse live in one of these heightened states of stress on a daily basis. Narcissists feed off of this – they love to hold all of the power and control. Being stuck in a state where increased adrenaline is coursing through the mind and body shortens the hippocampus. It also does a number on many other areas of the people, increases hyperarousal and anxiety, and makes it very difficult to self-soothe.
When a victim decides to leave the relationship, the narcissist’s world crashes down around them. If they weren’t already, they become fully aware of the damage that they are causing mentally, physically and emotionally, and when they no longer have their victim in their clutches, they lose their confidence, and often begin a sadistic game of trying to regain control so they can end things on their own terms.
All of this impacts the victim’s brain. They too are ‘shell shocked’ by the relationship and its ending. Every word, every humiliating moment that they have experienced leaves a permanent scar. Then, every manipulative game the narcissist plays when they attempt to leave reinforces these scars.
Specialists have learned a great deal regarding how a narcissist’s actions affect those around them, although there is still much more research to be done. They are continually finding more ways in which narcissistic abuse affects the mind and body.
It is not completely understood how this neurological process may enhance feelings of confusion, leading to cognitive dissonance in victims of narcissistic abuse. But this is another factor that is being explored. In time, more information could help victims become aware of a toxic situation sooner, before any brain damage can occur.
Break the silence, break the cycle.