There was a point in my life in which I had many questions. I was struggling immensely. And, I questioned how I had become the person I had. How had I drawn such toxicity into my life? Why did I put up with abusive relationships? How I could get out — leave where I was once and for all and never look back? I began to research heavily, hoping to find the answers I needed — praying I could somehow escape and start anew.
In the course of my research, I focused on a few notable keywords which I believed could best explain my situation. That’s when I stumbled upon Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. Chills ran down my spine. It was like I had spent years in the dark only to have a light bulb suddenly switched on.
At first, I was leery of exploring further. I was worried I would discover “too much” and be unable to process the information constructively. I had been beaten down to my core and I was sure I was too weak to take action. However, I pushed myself to absorb the available information. I learned all about NPD, sociopathy and other related disorders, and most importantly, I began to understand how those who are trapped by a narcissist think, feel, act and react. I learned about myself and what it would take to heal.
Then, I couldn’t get enough. Knowledge is power, and research provided the support I desperately needed to start a new chapter. I summoned the little strength left inside of me and took a leap of faith. And, I restarted my life. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t seamless. But, it proved to be possible. Now, I’ve written a book. I’ve gone back to school to pursue an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling focusing on substance abuse and addictions. And, I am determined to pay it forward. I am hoping the resources I provide in my self-help title, website, social media and by word of mouth give others who are struggling determination and hope.
Peace and blessings!
