Individual gaslighting is what you’ll likely read the most about when researching narcissistic abuse. It is a very common tactic used by narcissists to assert control and dominance over their victims. By forcing victims to begin questioning everything they do or say, the narcissist ensures they begin to totally rely on him to do anything at all.
Individual gaslighting involves the manipulation of a person whom the narc deems inferior and is able to be used and abused. He commonly will gaslight the individual in order to gain supply from the power he holds over this person. Spouses and children of narcissists are common targets. The narcissist goes to great lengths to ensure his mind-numbing game is effective, so he has the upper hand in the household.
Individual gaslighting also tends to be used when the narcissist is confronted about other control tactics, including limiting access to finances, monitoring phone calls, or determining exactly how his family is allowed to look in public. These are forms of mental and emotional abuse. If the narc is confronted, however, he will twist the circumstances in a way that the victims are left questioning why they thought it was such a big deal to begin with.
Eventually, the gaslighted target will be rendered completely submissive and unable to leave the narcissist because they cannot trust their own decision-making, which is an especially toxic situation to be in. The psychological control the narcissist is able to assert over those who share his intimate space is uncanny. He uses his cleverness and confidence to will them into submission and convince them to do his bidding.
It is important to reiterate that gaslighting is a form of abuse and can lead lasting mental and emotional scars. It is central to the development of PTSD in the post-trauma state. If you or someone you know has been the victim of gaslighting, don’t be afraid to seek help. There are many resources available to ensure you heal sustainably.