In learning more about what it means to be a victim or survivor of narcissistic abuse, you may find yourself asking the question – is narcissistic abuse physical? It can be, but not always.
Narcissists prefer to fly just below the radar and avoid being caught. This means they are more likely to use abusive tactics that don’t leave marks. They manipulate and lie to their victims. They gaslight, making their targets feel as if they’re going crazy and can’t trust their own judgment.
However, narcissistic abuse can become physical, particularly when the abuser’s sadistic game of catch and release is no longer deemed sufficient. This can occur if the victim has become aware that she is being emotionally abused and refuses to simply sit back and let it happen. The target may begin calling the narcissist out, and with the mounting pressure of being “discovered” for the monster he truly is, the abuser lashes out physically.
Even then, it’s not uncommon for a subclinical narcissist to get just physical enough that it would be tough for the victim to prove he has done anything wrong. For instance, he may push and shove rather than hit his victim. He may cause the victim to trip and fall, then blame the incident on the individual’s own clumsiness.
Another specialty of pathological abusers is to get their victims intoxicated, then become physical and blame any bumps or bruises on the victim, relying on the fact that the individual will most likely question her own behavior while under the influence. In this way, the narcissist will be able to receive an adrenaline rush of supply from the new, more devious level of abuse and the game will be carried out for a longer period of time.
Oftentimes, particularly in a situation like this, a target will know something isn’t right in the relationship or begin to question the narcissist’s view of reality but will remain confused just enough to allow the behavior to continue until a more notable pattern is present. Usually, by the time a victim realizes she is being abused, she also realizes that she has been a victim for quite some time, and this is why the revelation hurts so deeply. In connecting the dots, she feels profoundly betrayed and guilty for allowing herself to be subjected to the behavior for so long.
Victims of narcissistic abuse often live with post-traumatic stress disorder long after severing ties with their captors. This only increases feelings of betrayal and distrust, as victims become angry they’ve been “forever scarred,” and these feelings are carried into new relationships whether or not the victim realizes it.
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