Power is addicting to narcissists. This is often because, in their early years, they were either given too much or too little control over their lives. Either they were overly loved or neglected, but either way, they did not receive an adequate, healthy amount of love, attention, and support. As they carry these wounds into adulthood, narcissists begin a devious quest for ultimate power and will stop at nothing to achieve as many resources as possible along the way.
Let’s take a look at some of the most common things a narcissist will pursue in an effort to quench his thirst for power.
- Trophy partners. Narcissists not only seek those who are physically appealing, but they want to be with individuals who society deems perfect in other ways as well. This means they must also be intelligent and accomplished, charismatic, and able to also support the narcissist’s goals and desires. Every human being has faults, but when the narcissist discovers these, he will refuse to acknowledge them. Questioning whether your mate is a narcissist, and how deep his love truly is for you? You’ll quickly understand his shallowness should you fall ill or contract a life-threatening condition. As soon as a once-perfect partner is “damaged,” she will be quickly discarded, and the quest for partnering with a new-and-improved mate will begin.
- Wealth. Narcissists often hold supervisory or high-level corporation positions, and they can never acquire enough wealth. They also often hide their finances from partners and will always seek to have complete control over their partner’s assets. They tend to hold multiple types of accounts at multiple institutions, always shifting and reallocating funds, or somehow manipulating the financial picture, in order to keep partners guessing.
- Attention. Narcissists need to be in the spotlight. Not only do they crave attention, but they will seek revenge on anyone who they believe is competing for it. This means the narcissist will drone on and on in a crowd about his accomplishments, validated or not, and will engage in underhanded activities if it means his reputation will be salvaged and he will continue to receive praise.
- A Luxury Lifestyle. If at all possible, narcissists will ensure they have the best clothes, car, house, vacation home, and every recreational “toy” possible. Narcissists also tend to have an overabundance of jewelry, sunglasses, shoes, purses, electronics, and anything else that denotes fame and fortune. A narcissist’s finances might be crumbling on paper, but he will still insist on having these things. Without them, he feels he will be reduced to nothing and be made to come face-to-face with his true self, which is completely unacceptable. It is also not uncommon for a narc to place inanimate objects above the health and well-being of family members. For example, he might beg his spouse for extra cash to pay off a medical bill, and the very same day, return home with a whole new wardrobe. Children of narcissists often suffer, because they are seen simply as trivial extensions of self rather than individuals who rely on caretakers to love and nurture them. A child may have a new pair of shoes from the parent every other day, in order to always appear well-groomed and cared for, but be unable to attend a school field trip because the narc is unwilling to pay for it.
Bottom line is, nothing is too seedy or corrupt when it comes to portraying power and perfection to the outside world, and the narcissist does this at the expense of everyone around him. His quest is unrelenting and he will use and abuse as long as he gets his way. It is up to the victim to say enough is enough. Narcissists can’t change. We need to be the change.
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