It’s fairly common nowadays to hear “We live in a ‘me’ world.” Western society’s egocentric, I’ll help myself, thank you very much, mentality is flourishing now more than ever, especially with the interconnectedness of the internet and the media’s insatiable desire to portray the leader of the free world as a pathological narcissist.
Has this societal shift led to an increase in pathological narcissism? Perhaps.
Generation Y and millennials have come to be amid an epidemic of instant gratification and entitlement. With the impact of the web, everything must be easily accessible and available now, at one’s fingertips. Otherwise, it is completely dismissed. If one cannot press a button on a smartphone and immediately receive what they want, it’s simply too difficult to pursue. There is no attempt to ask for help. It’s quicker to move on.
This is a toxic perspective. It is fundamentally condescending and limiting, judgmental and close-minded. It is lined with implications of immaturity and laziness.
Narcissists depend on instant gratification and they carry with them an inherent sense of entitlement, believing they deserve to get whatever they want, whenever they want. This flawed perspective often develops very early on. If something does not fulfill this lust for attention, power, wealth and success, it simply doesn’t even register on the narcissist’s radar. It is completely disregarded as being a waste of the narcissist’s energy.
This is why it is especially risky to enter into a relationship with a pathological narcissist. Mates are only useful for as long as they are playing the narcissist’s sadistic game – enabling him or her to appear to be perfect at all times. The second an individual questions their partner’s sense of entitlement or shifts the focus to themselves, narcissistic injury persists and the accuser becomes the target of revenge. As easily as a light switch is flipped on or off, devaluation will turn quickly to discard. The narcissist will begin to seek a new victim not yet privy to the game to fill his or her reserves while punishing the previous prey.
It’s difficult to raise children in a me-centric world, especially when attempting to counteract societal influences. It’s difficult to teach humility and the importance of hard work when children are constantly surrounded by conflicting stimuli. Plain and simple – it’s difficult to not raise a narcissist.
But, it’s important to stand against this epidemic. It is important that we take the time to self-reflect, practice acceptance and be okay with our imperfections as well as those of others despite pressure from the outside world. Imagine if no one did so. Imagine if these values went entirely out the window just long enough for them to become completely foreign to everyone on earth.
That’s a scary thought to consider – living in a world of narcissists.
We are setting an example for the next generation. But, before we can do so, we have to be the example we hope to set. We have to practice the principles we preach. Therefore, we have to understand what is mean to not be a narcissist – what it means to be human, a perfect mix of the good with the bad. Then we can genuinely teach our children to be comfortable in their own skin, help them feel safe and valuable. Gandhi said it best: Be the change you hope to see in the world.