There are many different types of spousal abuse, including physical, mental, emotional, sexual, and financial. A survivor may have experienced one, a few, or all of these in a relationship with an abusive partner. While intimate partner violence seems to take center stage as a particularly detrimental form of abuse in relationships, all are actually equally devastating to one who lives through it. In fact, long after the cuts and bruises heal, mental and emotional scars tend to linger.
The effects of an abusive relationship stick around long after a victim is able to escape. It is difficult, if not impossible, to clear the mind of all of painful memories of abuse experienced. These memories and the inability to eliminate them are often complicated by the presence of children, isolation, Stockholm syndrome, battered women’s syndrome, and other circumstances and phenomena.
Financial abuse is particularly difficult to recover from because a partner becomes essentially completely dependent on their spouse’s income and ability to support him or her. Slowly but surely, one who abuses financially will strip any monetary resources from the abused so that this individual is unable to leave because they do not have the tangible resources to do so. This means, it might take time in the aftermath to rebuild financial stability.
Spousal sexual abuse can also leave long-lasting scars. When this occurs, victims tend to be forced into intimate situations well outside of their comfort zone. Those sexually abused in childhood who enter into this sadistic bond in adulthood can experience debilitating flashbacks, panic attacks, and nightmares related to these events.
If abusive victims get the courage to leave their captors, sometimes close friends and family members don’t believe their stories or believe the victim is exaggerating. This is especially true in situations in which non-physical abuse was inflicted, and in communications with shared acquaintances. However, it is difficult for anyone to truly know what goes on behind closed doors, and it is important for abuse survivors to feel heard in order to heal.
Relationships with mental, emotional, physical, sexual, and financial abusers can be so detrimental and induce so much stress that they prove to be life-changing and, unfortunately, survivors of abuse often carry with them the residual effects of their experiences, regardless of how much time has passed. This means they live with PTSD and all of its less-than-desirable symptoms. And, as they begin to believe there is nothing more to life than this negativity, it soon becomes all-consuming.
It is therefore essential for survivors to seek out counseling, group support, and strong personal support systems when they leave abusive relationships. It is possible to love, trust, and move forward after trauma. It takes time, a strong commitment to self, and those willing to listen. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.