Those who have experienced narcissistic abuse tend to be highly anxious. This anxiety is more severe than what is typical in someone without an anxiety disorder. It is a specific kind of paranoia and worry that can greatly impact an individual’s functioning. There is a ton of anxiety when the victim is in the relationship, including that which is tied to ruminating on what will happen if the relationship ends and, equally as paralyzing, what will happen if it continues. There is also profound anxiety over the unpredictability of the abuser’s reactions to the victim’s words or behaviors. This causes a victim to chronically second-guess everything about themselves and induces that stagnating sense of entrapment.
The anxiety experienced in the aftermath of abuse doesn’t readily go away. It tends to be compounded by the fact that the individual isn’t seeing the toxic partner every day so that uncomfortable unpredictability is amplified. Also, it’s important to note, an individual can have both generalized anxiety disorder and post-traumatic stress induced anxiety. The two conditions can co-occur, and this tends to happen when someone who is already highly anxious experiences a traumatic event such as falling victim to a pathological narcissist. When both are present, there are increased levels of depression, shame, guilt, and self-blame swirling around inside, making it very difficult for the victim to move forward.
In the aftermath of an abusive relationship, feelings of panic and paranoia, left unchecked, can be devastating. A lingering assuredness that the abuser is going to come back and do something terrible persists. And when anxiety gets to this level, where there is clinical distress, it’s time to seek professional help. If you or someone you know is experiencing extreme anxiety in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, there are a wealth of resources to help you heal. Don’t be afraid to reach out.