To say that narcissists are skilled manipulators is an understatement. Pathological narcissism, at its highest level along the spectrum, borders sociopathy and psychopathy. We’re talking about individuals who possess zero empathy toward their victims or to anyone or anything else in general, to the point that they don’t even flinch when gut-wrenching topics such as violent crime or death are mentioned.
So how can we determine whether we’re being targeted by an individual with NPD hell-bent on manipulating us into total submission? Here are just some of the most common tactics used…
The “Top 8”
- Control. Narcissists must maintain control over their targets at all times. This means, they direct everything in the individual’s life, from the clothes they’re allowed to wear, where they’re allowed to go and who they’re allowed to see. They use both covert and overt means to solidify their control over victims, including physical, mental and emotional abuse designed to create fear and total dependence.
- Projection. Narcissists love to project their faults onto their victims. Anything and everything they cannot stand about themselves (which is a lot, actually) must be projected onto others. In this way, narcissists can release the internal shame associated with these less-than-admirable qualities and manipulate victims into believing they, instead, are imperfect or in the wrong.
- Generalization. When confirming their intentions or plans, narcissists like to remain vague and inconclusive. They also like to avoid having to get into the nitty-gritty details when asked about their whereabouts. By generalizing, the narcissist doesn’t have to come clean about any seedy behavior. They are very skilled at telling the whole story without ever telling the whole story.
- Gaslighting. Narcissists gaslight their victims to make them feel as if they are crazy and their own perceptions of particular situations cannot be trusted. In doing so, the narcissist is able to assert his perspective and make the victim feel as if he is “right” about everything at all times.
- Subject Changing. Oh the art of change the subject just at a pivotal time in which the narcissist may have otherwise been made to be held accountable for his underhanded actions! Narcissists are ever-so-skilled at doing so. If confronted publicly, he or she is very likely to use this tactic in order to avoid humiliation. Of course, whoever pointed out a potential flaw can expect the full wrath of narcissist injury whenever the two are once again behind closed doors.
- Isolation. Narcissists love to isolate targets from their friends and family members to the point that their victims believe the narcissist is the only support system they need. In pushing everyone else away, the narcissist is free to exercise total manipulation of a victim without having to worry about being caught.
- Hoovering. Even if one has gotten the courage to end a relationship or association with a narcissist, this individual will never just go away. They ever so cleverly continue to insert themselves into their former acquaintances’ lives, usually for years to come. In this way, they hope to reaffirm their control over their victims by continuing to manipulate them and drive them crazy.
- Conditioning. The narcissist uses all of the manipulative tactics above in order to condition a victim into believing he or she needs the narcissist in order to function. The narcissist’s goal is to literally make a target question anything and everything about themselves to the point that they rely entirely on their captor. In this way, the victim is conditioned into total submission.
Beware the narcissist’s manipulative powers! And, if any of this resonated, RUN! You may be under the influence of a skilled abuser.