Battered women’s syndrome (BWS) is closely associated with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other psychological disorders, although these are separate diagnoses which all can manifest as a result of narcissistic abuse. BWS specifically develops in victims of long-term domestic violence. The victim will re-experience the abuse mentally over and over again, will avoid certain people, places and things that remind her of the abuse, refuse to recognize certain emotions, suppressing these as much as possible (i.e., happiness associated with new love), be easily startled, have frequent panic attacks, experience body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) and other somatic issues, and have problems with intimacy. The standard checklist for BWS is as follows:
The person…
Fears for their life
Is fearful for more than four weeks
Has performance issues at work or in other important daily life activities
Has been manipulated through threats of violence, unwanted sex, degradation, isolation and more
Dislikes his/her own body and experiences somatic health issues
Experiences sexual intimacy issues
(In order to meet the criteria for PTSD, the victim needs only to meet the first three.)
The abuser also ensures the victim believes he or she is to blame for the abuser’s actions to the point that even when recognized by medical personnel and asked directly, the victim cannot place blame on his captor or anyone else other than himself. The victim will also present with paranoia, whether valid or not, regarding his or her well-being and/or the well-being of anyone else who may be under the wrath of the captor (literally or according to the captor’s threats). Those suffering from BWS and PTSD often believe their abuser is greater than themselves, likely on all levels physically, mentally and emotionally.
Intimate partner violence (IPV) typically follows a defined pattern termed the cycle of abuse. Loosely, it begins with building tension in the relationship. Then, the abuser will explode, battering the victim in order to relief stress as a result of the tension. Perhaps feeling momentarily guilty for his or her actions, the abuser will extend an offer of peace, usually inclusive of gifts. In the case of narcissistic abuse, this offer will be made in order to maintain control through manipulation, ensuring the prey will not leave. And, the cycle inevitably continues unless and until the victim “wakes up” and leaves once and for all, going no contact.
Feeling trapped and helpless, just as much in a mental prison as imprisoned physically by the abuser, the victim will likely experience severe depression. The learned behavior essentially paralyzes the victim, making it easier for the narcissist to continue the abuse. He will remove all outside influences, isolating his prey and making him or her completely dependent. Because narcissists often live lives of wealth and privilege due to the false facade they display in public, and because a “successful” narcissist will have ensured complete isolation of the target from friends and family, victims don’t know where to turn and often fear running to unfamiliar and less appealing environments such as shelters or hospitals full of “strangers”. What abuse victims essentially need to know, first and foremost, is that there are options regardless of their situation. But, the victim needs to find the courage to take that first step and break the cycle.
Abuse is never okay. If you or someone you know has been a victim of domestic violence, confidentially report the abuse by calling 800.799.7233.