Oftentimes, we determine the result of a current predicament based solely on past experiences. While this natural humanistic response is meant to help us navigate and steer clear of perceived threats, the associations our minds create can sometimes be completely illogical.
Being able to identify and challenge seemingly unrelated associations is key to the reframing process. Thus, after you have journaled odd connections, the next step is to check for validity. And, this is where most negative patterns fall apart. For example, how accurate is it that you cannot trust someone in your present life because you were neglected as a child? What facts support this conclusion? As you begin the process of fact-checking, many of the associations your mind auto-generates between past and present experiences won’t mesh at all.
The more you challenge associations, the more you’ll get comfortable with this process. As you get accustomed to it, the mind will likely challenge more and more thoughts as part of your natural immediate reaction to circumstances and events. It will become second nature.
In the interim, it can be helpful to journal your auto-reactions to any situations that have your mind preoccupied. Writing down the situation and the associated thought will help you deconstruct it over time. You may not be able to begin doing so the moment it arises, but you can return to your entry at a later time when you have a moment to truly focus, and determine the implications behind it.
The more you begin to challenge your auto-thoughts, the more productive these reactions will become. You will eventually be able to readily identify when an association between past and present is unsupported and replace it with one that seems more productive and logical.
Try this:
Dedicate a few journal pages to auto-thoughts that are leaving you discontented and feeling stuck. Then, reflect on these and come up with potential reasons why they’re there. Dig deep. This will take some quiet time for reflection and the willingness to do some serious self-exploration.
If you arrive at a conclusion, write it down. Then, analyze the thought and the reasoning behind it. Does the association make sense? If it does, stick to your original assumption. But, if not, think of more logical solutions and write those down. Reference your list as often as you need to in order to deconstruct any disassociation between the past and present.