As you’re reminding yourself that difficulties are temporary, it can be incredibly helpful to determine what is within your control and what is not. People, by nature, like to feel in control. Yet, the world is largely uncontrollable. We feel if only we can control everything and everyone around us, we’ll be able to rest easily knowing we will not be hurt again. We have this desire for an outcome that simply isn’t possible.
Oftentimes, we have no control over unfair situations in our lives. This is an especially important point to remember. Because we cannot control the world around us, we must control how we view the world and focus on maintaining internal control. We can only control ourselves and our reaction to the world.
Remember, you are in control of your own thoughts and actions, and only your own. When life throws a curve ball, you have the power to determine how you react. Try writing down all of those things that are within your control and those that are not and reference this list whenever you feel you want to respond with anger and frustration. This will help you let go of those things you never had any power over to begin with. Here’s a couple of prompts to get you started:
Right now, here are five things within my control…
I must release these things beyond my control…
The past cannot be changed, and the future remains uncertain, so we have to focus on the present. We only have control over this present moment, and this is why it is important to live one day at a time. We have no control over what happened and our memories of these events, but we also have to remember that it no longer has any control over us, either.
So, instead, focus on what you’ll be able to learn from a perceived trauma, failure, or obstacle. What do you feel the lesson is and how will you grow through experiencing this? How can you help others as a result? Journal your thoughts and make sure to include positive outcomes that are likely and what you will do in the future instead. Then, let go of that which cannot be controlled, bit by bit.