Ever hear the saying, you must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change? It seems the 3Cs have become popular in more way than one. And, for good reason. It’s important to begin setting your intentions early on in the post-trauma state so you have personal goals to work towards that are going to propel you to a fulfilling next draft. Part of this includes making that initial choice to change your life for the better – a choice only you can make.
We have two options when we’ve finally broken free from trauma – to setting up a foundation upon which to rebuild or to allow it to continue to define us. If we stagnate in a state of isolation, depression, and general unhappiness, we have to ask ourselves – what is the point? If we never disconnect emotionally from the trauma we experienced, we essentially never disconnect from our past at all. The residual effects of this trauma will linger and continue to control our lives. This is no way to live.
You, and only you, have the power to decide to move forward into this next phase of life determined to rebuild and rediscover yourself so you can once again feel whole. Healing from the inside out is essential. Nothing in your external world will fill the void, and thus, you must start with your internal self and understand what it needs to be happy in order to attract those things externally that will help you to accomplish this.
Healing from the inside out is not easy. It’s not something that does not happen overnight nor is it something that happens all at once and can be forgotten. Making a commitment to realize sustainable healing means making a commitment to yourself to heal fully, every day, and to begin this journey anew with each new day. Setting goals while understanding it’s a lifelong journey and a promise that you must renew to yourself continually will ensure you are heading in the right direction.
Once we make a choice to take a chance and try to enjoy life again, we must remember to stay centered. It may be tempting to take on a billion different things all at once, because life will become exciting again (perhaps for the first time in a very long time). If you’re not focusing on what you’re feeling and what it’s going to take to continue moving forward, though, you will inevitably crash and burn.
You will be re-energized and determined to take on everything you’ve always wanted to while experiencing trauma but were unable to pursue. Baby steps. One day at a time. You can do everything in life that makes you happy, but it’s important to remain cool, calm, and collected in the process. And, resist the urge to give, give, give without stopping to refuel. You have to protect your energy in order to ensure you keep having energy to give. If your energy is off kilter or nonexistent, this will inevitably mar any progress you’ve made.
Forge a sustainable path to trauma recovery by practicing some balance while setting personal aspirations and you will, in time, reach all of your goals. Otherwise, you’re bound to give up before you’re able to. This means ensuring you give yourself enough time to reconnect with self through quiet moments of reflection, going in and understanding how you feel in the present moment. This is the practice of mindfulness. Get into the habit of employing mindful strategies daily.
Remaining cool, calm, and collected means understanding who you are and what makes you tick. The only way to do this is to take the time to get to know the post-trauma you. Sometimes, we overextend without fully acknowledging and accepting what we’ve been through and who we are as a result, and when we don’t understand who we are, no one else will either.
Moving ahead without this understanding will provoke negative thought processes and emotions and cause them to once again creep to the surface, leading to uncomfortable feelings of depression and anxiety. All of the icky feelings associated with post-traumatic stress disorder will ultimately overtake any efforts to heal. Thus, you must check in. If something is too overwhelming, the only way to mitigate this before it’s too late, is to be honest with yourself about the burden you’re carrying.
At some point, you have to face your fears. It’s all about self-awareness. If you can go inward and address exactly what it is that is causing your anxiety, you can challenge these fears. You can then ‘flip the script,’ turning negative thought processes into positive ones.
If you are afraid of being hurt again, for example, you can challenge this by first asking yourself if you will ever be in the same situation again. What is the probability? Chances are, when you walked away from past trauma, you walked away without that which induced it. You left it behind with the toxicity it caused. So, the person, place, thing, or idea that caused this pain is no longer a part of your being. You’ve already discarded it.
The only way you can confront negativity, challenge it, and change your perspective is through a willingness to do this internal work. Even though it seems counterintuitive to spend time working on yourself when you have a million other responsibilities and obligations to tend to, it will become second nature with time and practice.
You have to first make the decision to grab hold of life and transform it to be everything you want it to be. Once you’re away from the trauma, it can no longer hold you in its clutches. You have the power to rid yourself of it entirely, once and for all. It starts with setting intentions, stayed centered, practicing grounding techniques, and thinking mindfully – staying in the present and understanding exactly where you’re at in your journey each step of the way.
Remember that nothing truly worthwhile is easy to obtain. Those things that are tend to be fleeting. Their perceived value is easily forgotten. You want to work towards sustainable healing rather than focusing on a short-term band-aid. Setting long term intentions means identifying those that will stick around for a lifetime. When you do, you’ll be surprised by how quickly life changes for the better.