Developing a growth mindset also takes a willingness to problem-solve in a healthy way rather than through self-destructive means. Oftentimes, as the impact of trauma lingers, it seems easier cope with life’s issues in unhealthy ways or avoid problems altogether rather than face them head on and have a resolution planned in advance, so the obstacle is easier to tackle.
You can add to your journal or create flashcards of questions to ask yourself whenever you are facing an obstacle. It can be difficult to think clearly, especially if triggered, and this will give you some direction. When you have a tool to reference, you’ll be less inclined to engage in methods of escapism, such as substance use or other maladaptive behaviors. Try asking yourself all of the following:
What is the problem I’m facing?
If I _________, what will happen?
If I don’t _________, what will happen?
Who can help me work through this?
How will I feel if I solve this in a health way?
You can add to this list as you see fit. The important thing is to create questions to guide you on a healthy path, distracting the mind from trying to take the easy way out, only to compound your problem.
If you need a minute to recoup after a particularly difficult situation, employ a self-care strategy you can also plan in advance. Place to-dos in a jar and pull one out each day. You can decorate this jar as you see fit to make it appealing and an easy reminder of the importance of continuing your self-commitment. You might write on pieces of paper:
Take a walk around the block.
Start gardening.
Start a new book.
Find a self-help podcast to follow.
Take 10 minutes of time to meditate.
Fill the jar to its brim so you have a whole slew of options to choose from. Select only one each day, or one in the A.M. and one in the P.M. Resist the urge to replace it if you aren’t ‘feeling it’ that day. Remember, challenge and take care of yourself. This is what creates growth.
There are so many activities you can do to replace stagnation with growth. Oftentimes, trauma makes you feel stuck and unable to move forward. However, moving forward is not only possible, but necessary. And, the ability to do so truly resides within you. By learning to stick with a sustainable self-care plan and face and resolve problems in a healthy manner, you will be able to heal sustainably.