Step Ten – Soak It All In
Once you’ve become involved in groups, whether online or in-person, and have taken some time to soak in the advice of others, think about how the group perspective has enriched your journey.
Ask yourself the following:
-What has sharing my experience helped me to learn about myself?
-What have I learned from the experiences of others?
-What can I take from my experience in groups with me and internalize for future growth and development?
-What do I still need to share?
Hopefully, gaining a group perspective has helped you to understand the issues at hand, and will guide your steps moving forward. As you becoming more comfortable sharing with a group, you will find a newfound strength and gain peace of mind. Perhaps your answers to the questions above will provide some direction in journaling and in verbalizing your story.
Remember to be mindful that those you are interacting with are likely in all different phases, from living in the abuse to just entering recovery, to owning acceptance. With this in mind, try not to compare and contrast yourself. However, you may start to get an urge to help mentor those still wading the waters. This is natural, especially if someone is expressly asking for your help. Be careful. There could be safety concerns associated with putting yourself in the middle of a contentious situation. Use your best judgement. We will discuss how to navigate this in greater detail in the final step.
Also, be mindful that everyone’s situation is unique. Just because something worked for one person, it may not work for another. Just because someone swears she has the answer to everything, doesn’t mean she does. Take any advice with a grain of salt, and offer any with the same cautiousness. Considering the following:
-What is one piece of advice I received that I will definitely use moving forward?
-What will I certainly disregard?
-How can I take something I’ve heard and interpret it based on my own personal experiences?
-Is there something I’ve heard that I feel compelled to research more?
-Is there something I’ve heard that compels me to help?
Continue to increase your reach in this step. Expand your resource base. Establish additional connections. Knowledge is power, and the more you know, the less you know. We can never have enough information, resources or mentors. Absorb everything you can from everyone you can!