Step Nine – Group Involvement
So, you’ve decided to take a life-transforming journey, rounded all of the corners, and now you can finally see the finish line! These last few steps will help you make some fantastic connections with others that understand what you’ve been through. It’s important to reach out and talk to others about your experiences. Tough Discussions = Deep Healing. This is why there are a wealth of support groups for almost any type of hardship, including those for narcissistic abuse survivors.
The online community is filled with support resources, including pages you can follow and groups you can join to connect with others. Check out general sites, such a Psychology Today and Mental Health America. OnlineSupportGroups.com is a great place to start if you wish to join discussion threads on certain topics. You can also purchase self-help hard copy titles and other publications, and there are a number of free hard copy circulars or emails you can subscribe to. Check out the
National Institute of Mental Health and opt in to subscribing to some of these. You should consider seeing a licensed therapist as well who can help you with additional self-discovery.
Group involvement will inevitably give you an even deeper understanding of your situation, providing you with an opportunity to hear from a diverse population of survivors. You will find that offering insight into your own experiences will spark helpful feedback. Share only what you feel comfortable with at first, but be open to considering the questions of others and opening up more as time passes.
Some questions to ask yourself before deciding which support route to take:
Have I put in the work necessary to take this next step?
What am I hoping to accomplish by engaging with others?
What can I offer from my own experience to others who are struggling?
Do I feel more comfortable meeting with others face-to-face or through an online environment?
Do I have time to commit to regular in-person meetings?
Consider setting goals that will help you to progress toward becoming more open and receptive to feedback:
What do I find to be the easiest part of my journey to discuss?
What is the most painful/difficult?
Who can I trust with the most painful parts of my story?
How can I map out what I’ll be comfortable sharing and when? (i.e., I will talk about what I saw initially in my ex-spouse, was attracted to, in the first meeting; I will talk about the progression of emotional abuse when I feel like I can trust my audience.)
Realize that life is fluid, and no matter how much we plan, circumstances are subject to change. Mapping out a journey doesn’t mean it’s going to go exactly as planned. Go with the flow, and enjoy the surprising twists and turns along the way!