By: Sara E. Teller
You enter a relationship because you love your partner, and you want to be in love with them. It is highly unlikely that a person would decide to be in a relationship if they knew that it would be an abusive one.
No one deserves to be in a destructive partnership, but they’re more common than one may think. Sadly, narcissists are extremely difficult to initially identify, and being involved in a relationship with one can, over time, lead to narcissistic victim syndrome (NVS), which can affect the person’s mental and physical health and destroy both their self-esteem and self-worth.
What is Narcissistic Victim Syndrome?
Some call it ‘narcissistic abuse syndrome,’ but it’s also known by specialists and victims alike as narcissistic victim syndrome or narcissistic victim complex. NVS is a severe form of emotional abuse which is caused by being involved in a relationship with a narcissist.
The effects of NVS are not limited to mental and emotional health. There can be many physical effects of narcissistic abuse that a victim may not notice at the time the emotional impact is a high, but this will tend to become evident over time.
Narcissists aim to invalidate all of the people around them. They will constantly belittle and manipulate others, and this is not limited to their partners. They do this with their parents, children, work colleagues, neighbors and anyone ese who happens to be caught in their social web. Anyone who is intimately involved with a narcissist can experience NVS.
Those in a relationship with a narcissist will gradually change over time – it’s inevitable. They will begin to feel inadequate, unworthy, and may start to seek approval over the smallest things because they don’t get that support from their partner. These symptoms tend to worsen over time. They may lose all sense of themselves, leading them to succumb to the narcissist’s power (which is the abuser’s plan).
Here are some of the proven ways to heal from abuse:
Self-care: Self-care often works wonders for those who’ve been through so much abuse. Exercising helps the brain release cortisol, and this in turn, naturally improves mood. And, of course, just relaxing also helps. It’s important to take some time for mindful self-reflection after being worn down repeatedly by a narcissist. This will help re-instill a strong sense of self, one that is separate from the abuser and worthy of love and respect.
Engaging in other activities that are pleasurable will also help. Reading a book, listening to music or watching a movie, for example, may divert one’s attention from negative thoughts. Anything that involves using one’s hand to create (i.e., cooking, crafting, knitting, etc.) can also help keep the mind focused on the task rather than ruminating on negativity.
Socializing with friends and family, and spending quality time together will build meaningful support and allow for time to vent when needed. Socializing with those we love and trust releases feel-good hormones, which boost mood even long-after the interaction. It’s important to remember that the love and support of the people surrounding us is what matters – this must always trump invalidation from a narcissist. These people can be there to listen and offer comfort. They can offer life-changing advice and help those with NVS regain control of their lives.
Therapy: Therapy can truly work wonders. Never be afraid to seek the help of professionals. They have undergone extensive training to be able to help you navigate symptoms of NVS and come out on the other side stronger than ever before. It can be difficult to reach out, but it is always worth it.
Living with NVS can be very difficult. It is important to create separation from the narcissist as best as you can and take care of yourself in the process. This is possible, even if you’re experiencing NVS from family members. Limit time spent with this person, create a space for you, and nurture your sense of self in this space.
Break the silence, break the cycle.