It was a woman’s birthday and her husband came home with a bouquet of flowers, but they weren’t roses. And, while they were a beautiful assortment of bright colors, she wondered why the love of her life hadn’t sprung for her favorite red ones. So, she thanked him, but decided to ask. Her husband replied, “I didn’t want to give you roses because they have thorns.” The woman was silent a moment, considering his perspective. Then, she said, “I’m just happy thorns have roses.”
You see, life is all a matter of perspective. If we can learn to switch ours and think more positively, we will get so much more out of life. Instead of simmering in worry, fear, and doubt, we will enjoy the benefits of self-assuredness, appreciation, and hope. We alone are responsible for shifting our own perspective. Imagine how much more quickly we could heal post-trauma if we simply chose every day to look on the bright side of things?
A Cherokee legend comes to mind. A grandfather was sitting with his grandson, and he told him the story of two wolves which both represented commonly held human emotions. One wolf represented hate, anger, and jealousy. The other encompassed love, joy, and contentedness. They were ready to fight. The boy asked, “Grandpa, which one will win?” And, the old man replied, “Whichever you choose to feed.”
Feed negativity and it will surely win. However, give life to life’s blessings, and they will flourish. Each day offers a new chance to be happy. But, it’s hard, isn’t it? There is so much hate, anger, and jealousy in our world that we literally have to choose to fight and eliminate it from our conscious in order to heal.
If we’ve escaped trauma, now is the time to make that choice. We are no longer trapped physically. We must release ourselves mentally. The only shame we should feel in the aftermath is that of our own determination to keep ourselves there.
Practice mindfulness. Sit alone with your thoughts and allow them to run through. Pay attention to how often fear enters and envision yourself pushing it out of the way to allow for excitement to seep in. Do this for several minutes. See how long you can sit still with your thoughts, resisting the urge to continue on to the next task.
We’ve been trained to fit as much productivity into our day as possible, and this cultural shift has disabled us from spending time in the moment, still and free from obligation. But, it is only in these moments that we can work on our psyche and become more self-aware. So, as a result, this now has to be an active choice. We have to allow ourselves to have a few moments alone to realign.
If this seems impossible with your schedule, find an evening yoga class centered on relaxation and sign yourself up. Commit to going to this class as part of your healing regimen. It will get you out of your environment and allow you to feel like a part of the healing process rather than apart from it. The instructor will guide you through a series of motions while encouraging mindfulness techniques and you will be in a room free from outside distractions and stimuli.
We only live once. We can either choose to live out our remaining years stagnated in the misery of the trauma we experienced, or we can take back our lives. This is your chance at a second draft. Shift your perspective, think more positively, and just maybe the best has yet to come.