By: Sara E. Teller
When you think about narcissistic abuse, you probably first imagine unwelcome or unwanted treatment in a close, personal relationship. That’s a common place for this type of abuse to occur, but it’s not the only place where we see narcissism playing out in today’s world. In a related way, narcissism can show up in the workplace, and while it might not have the same profound impact as narcissistic abuse in a more intimate relationship, it can still be difficult to deal with effectively.
If you’ve realized someone in your workplace is exhibiting narcissistic behavior and this is taking a toll on you, the coping strategies below may be helpful. You likely have more control over this situation than you may initially realize. Once you understand how you can approach it in a way that protects you and limits the impact that the narcissist is able to have on your life, the easier it will be to focus on your job rather than the toxic environment.
Spotting Narcissism on the Job
What does narcissism look like in the workplace?
Most people in a professional setting are looking out for themselves to some degree, as everyone wants to get ahead and make the most of their careers. So, it might be difficult to sort out narcissism from the standard approach to building a career and doing everything possible to succeed.
However, narcissism in the workplace tends to be more about manipulation and taking advantage of others for personal gain. It’s one thing to try to stand out in order to advance up the ladder, but it’s another thing entirely to do so on the backs of others. For example, if a co-worker is constantly pressuring you to do work that isn’t technically your responsibility, and then they are taking the credit for the work that was done, this could be a sign narcissism in action.
Dealing with Narcissists at Work
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon to find these kinds of people at work. There are a few good ways to cope with what you are facing without taking anything away from your own career, including:
- Define and maintain clear boundaries. It can be helpful to stick strictly to your job description when others are trying to take advantage of you at work for their own gain. Sadly, this is typically a situation that is faced by women more often than men in the professional setting. Socially, women are supposed to be more agreeable, so they tend to do extra work that doesn’t benefit them directly. Regardless of gender, setting a boundary on what work you do and when you do it can help you prevent others from getting ahead on your labor.
- Get help from above. Often, it’s co-workers at a comparable level who are trying to take advantage of victims in order to boost their careers, likely while making this person look bad so they’re not in competition with them. If this is the case, be direct with your supervisors about the situation and what you see happening. It’s important that you don’t raise these issues in a way that seems like you’re just being vindictive and not willing to be a team player. Instead, you should be doing it as a service to your team and the company as a whole, trying to keep everyone on the same page and working towards the same goals collaboratively.
- Use stress management techniques. Even when you address narcissism at work, it’s still likely to be there in some form. So, away from work, be sure to do things that are going to cut down on your stress levels and help you strike a healthy balance. If you have time available during your lunch break, for example, consider using that opportunity to get out of the office and do something that you enjoy – even just a walk in a nice park – to clear your mind and remind yourself that there is more to life than what is going on at work. When you clock out at night, make sure you’re taking your current needs into consideration when planning out what to do for the rest of the evening.
Being a Good Leader
If you are in a position of leadership at your company, you can use that position to promote a positive work culture that steers away from narcissism. First and foremost, employees should always feel comfortable reaching out to leaders for help, and they should never be punished for doing so. They should also be given a certain level of autonomy whenever possible to grow in their abilities and not feel suffocated amid micromanagement.
Also, making training available – or even mandatory – which teaches empathetic behavior and how to respect others in a professional setting can be helpful. With regular training and clear policies that cover issues related to maintaining fair working conditions, the office can be a more productive, comfortable place for everyone.
The coping strategies above will be effective in many different professional situations. And you might even find that learning how to deal with narcissism on the job can help you spot and address these kinds of problems when they come up in your personal life. While you can’t necessarily change the behavior of others, you can adapt your own approach to other people and find ways to deal with their actions in a way that protects your interests and avoids too many unwanted negative consequences.
Break the silence, break the cycle.