By: Sara E. Teller
Narcissistic abuse, in all forms, is something that should not have any place in society. Unfortunately, it does affect countless people each year, and some people are more likely to wind up experiencing this type of abuse than others.
This form of abuse can have profound effects on survivors, including PTSD symptoms, self-doubt, and core identity confusion. Survivors of narcissistic abuse may experience high anxiety, depression, and trauma symptoms including hypervigilance, and sleep issues, and panic attacks. They may also experience flashbacks and nightmares related to the abuse. Low self-esteem and self-worth are also common among survivors of narcissistic abuse. This can be due to the constant criticism and belittling they receive from their abuser.
Simply understanding some of the risk factors can help people get out of these kinds of situations before they get out of control and have a lasting negative impact on the life of the victim. This article will highlight some factors that point to a higher likelihood of winding up on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse.
Some General Factors
Before we dive into this section, it should be pointed out that there are no absolutes in this type of situation. Plenty of variables will come into play in each specific relationship, so the factors we are going to highlight below are just general factors that could potentially contribute to someone becoming a victim of narcissistic abuse.
- Specific personality traits. There are some types of people who are more prone to suffering from this kind of abuse than others. Sadly, it tends to be the nicest among us – the people who are kind and empathetic toward others – who frequently wind up as victims. With a nature that has them trusting others and trying to see the best in everyone, these people will open themselves up to being hurt by another person.
- Low self-esteem. Another sad reality of narcissistic abuse is that it tends to wind up victimizing people who already struggle with low self-esteem. This is true of any form of abuse. When people don’t think highly of themselves, they might believe that they deserve the treatment they are receiving, even if they know it’s wrong. Supporting others to help them feel better about themselves can go a long way toward fighting off narcissistic victimization.
- Vulnerable life situations. Sometimes, it’s not so much the traits of the person as it is the situation that they find themselves in that winds up leading to an opportunity to become a victim. For instance, when someone goes through a difficult time – like a divorce or the loss of a loved one – they may be more willing to put up with narcissistic behavior than they would have been otherwise. The narcissist can take advantage of a vulnerable person based on timing and wind up building a controlling, unhealthy relationship as a result.
- Past trauma. Even if the victim isn’t currently going through anything difficult in life, the emotional scars left by past trauma can also be problematic. Those traumas can make it difficult for someone to stand up for what is right in a relationship, or to even understand how they should be treated. Working with a therapist to deal with these past traumas can be very helpful in addressing the emotional damage and putting the person in a better space to maintain positive relationships.
Conforming to Social Norms and Spirituality
In some places, and in some cultures, controlling relationships are common and even celebrated as a positive thing. For those who are within such cultures, or who look up to particular people in the media, it might be easy to think that this is how people should be treated. It can be hard, without a strong sense of self-worth, to see past some of these popular portrayals to gain a better understanding of what a relationship should look like from both sides.
By the same token, certain religions can portray power and control as normal, usually when the foundations of the religion are taken out of context by coercive leaders. Those who are seeking comfort through spirituality can put themselves in a very vulnerable situation should they become intertwined with this power play. This can, thus, lead to acceptance of domination in personal relationships.
It’s Hard Without Direct Support
One of the risk factors for becoming a victim of narcissistic abuse is simply being in a position where you don’t have anyone trusted to talk to about things going on in your life. It can be hard to see a situation for what it really is when you feel like you are in it alone. Having another person to simply talk to and share your experiences with can make a massive difference. This person could be a family member or friend who is open and willing to talk regularly, or it could be a professional therapist who has the training and experience needed to help the individual get the guidance they need.
Abuse is never the fault of the victim. For potential victims to protect themselves, however, or for a loved one to be able to intervene and provide assistance, it does help to know who may be more likely to suffer this type of abuse and why. With some knowledge and the opportunity to see a situation for what it is, hopefully some individuals will be able to get away from this type of relationship as fast as possible and start on the road to sustainable healing.
Break the silence, break the cycle.