By: Sara E. Teller
If you are wondering what will happen to the narcissist when you leave, you are most certainly the target of narcissistic supply. The emotional abuse of a narcissist satisfies their desire to be liked while keeping those in their inner circle dependent on them. If you’re used to dancing with them while they carry out this sadistic game, you are likely wondering what would happen if they can no longer dominate you.
We know that using gaslighting and other forms of manipulation to keep control is in a narcissist’s nature. But what happens when someone is so accustomed to being in charge that they are unable to comprehend what it means to make a compromise? What occurs when a narcissist entirely loses control?
Narcissistic wrath is the result. When a narcissist loses control and fears that you might be leaving and leading a life that they are unaware of, they can completely lose their temper and the the abuse tends to escalate. (This is why it’s always important to go under the radar should you be planning your escape.)
The narcissist may begin to display extremely nasty and manipulative behavior. They frequently exhibit erratic behavior and exhibit strong emotions, and they could become physically aggressive. If they believe they are going to be left behind or are not getting their way, they may even make suicide threats.
This response might appear to be simply a severe overreaction at first and it may catch you off-guard, but it actually makes perfect sense. A narcissist is nothing without a perceived sense of power, control and entitlement.
Why do narcissists require power and control?
Toxic people frequently exhibit intense envy, which makes them feel deficient or worthless. They are continually looking for affirmation from others that they are unique. As a result, they find it intolerable to consider others as superior to them in any capacity.
Because of this, people with narcissistic personality disorder frequently criticize their partners, kids, and other family members or friends. Sadly, doing so makes them feel better about themselves because, whether intentionally or unintentionally, they believe that doing so makes them appear superior to everyone else.
Because they believe they lack it in other areas of their lives, narcissists need power and control. As narcissists frequently experience narcissistic abuse as children, this usually starts in very early on in life. Thus, it’s engrained into their DNA and losing one or both equates to a total loss of identity to the narcissist.
What Takes Place When a Narcissist Cannot Control You Anymore?
The drive to exert and restore control over others is a crucial component of narcissistic personality disorder, notwithstanding the complexity of narcissism’s psychology. When they are unable to manage you, narcissists typically begin to attempt to manage everyone’s perception of you while simultaneously seeking new, compliant supply.
Let’s say you’ve identified the narcissist and learned the hard way that someone you trusted and believed in turned out to be, to put it mildly, a complete nightmare. You have established your boundaries now that you have uncovered the false façade and know what drives them. You’ve stopped allowing that narcissist to manipulate you and you stand your ground when they try.
Furious, the narcissist will incite a smear campaign against you. The smear campaign strategy will be used as their opening move. Never will they concede that they are powerless over you. As a result, the narcissist will look for other opportunities to exert control. They will denigrate you, damage your reputation, and perhaps even purposely reveal any private information to everyone you know—and even to those people who don’t.
While it quickly becomes an all-out war when you are steadfast in your boundaries and/or choose to live, these things are necessary for self-preservation. When it comes down to it, always be prepared, as a narcissist will take low blows at anyone’s expense. Knowing this, you can more easily plan a successful escape and never look back.
Break the silence, break the cycle.