Victims of narcissistic abuse tend to be plagued by paralyzing self-doubt. Those who’ve escaped were never able to say or do anything right within the toxic partnership. Those who are still engaging with the narcissist are fighting a losing battle every day to feel better and get their confidence back.
Abusers love to gaslight their victims, making them believe they’re wrong in every respect. This inevitably makes the victim cast doubt on everything and anything they say or do. They feel completely worthless, unable to handle even the simplest tasks. And typically, the partnership will get to the point to where the victim will begin to ask the narcissist for his or her opinion or approval before making any decision.
This is exactly what the narcissist wants. It’s all part of the sadistic game. If the victim is made to distrust themselves and instill trust solely in the narcissist, they will remain in a position of total dependence. Not trusting one’s own instincts means not trusting that intuitive sense inside that is telling the victim to leave. Only by regaining confidence and understanding the flaws of their partner will the victim be able to quiet this doubt, and doing so is much easier said than done.
The longer a person stays in a partnership with a pathological narc, the worse self-doubt tends to get. They are essentially brainwashed into total submission and made to rely on their partner to handle the day-to-day. What’s more, because they are no longer able to mentally and emotional handle daily tasks, the narcissist is likely constantly telling the individual they are worthless. It’s a vicious cycle of abuse from which it is incredibly difficult to break free.
The most extreme manifestation of self-doubt amid narcissistic abuse is when the victim distrusts his or her own instincts so much that it becomes no longer possible to function without the help of the narcissist. This means, the individual is only able to understand they’re hungry or tired when the narcissist tells them they’re hungry or tired. This can lead to malnutrition, mental and physical distress, exhaustion and a whole host of other ailments that wield the victim further into submission.
This dangerous doubt tends to linger even after a victim summons the courage to leave. It becomes ingrained in the person’s new sense of self. If you are constantly second-guessing yourself, this could be a sign that you’ve been victimized by a narcissist.