Another form of self-sabotage is making sure to derail as soon as things start to get good. This can happen when we lose patience with the process because we’re are unable to see immediate results. It is human nature to expect instant gratification. This fast-paced world we’re living in means we can get what we need quicker than ever before. Unfortunately, not everything in life works that way. Sometimes the things worth fighting for the most take significant time and effort before we can see the fruits of our labor.
Rather than waiting it out, we can find ourselves resisting the urge to simply jump off track and totally give up. But, if we give into this urge, all is lost. It really is up to us to keep the course.
Self-sabotaging can also mean not allowing blessing to come in because they seem so foreign after a traumatic experience. Whenever you’re experiencing something that makes you happy, you instantly begin overanalyzing the blessing, asking yourself when things are going to give. It could even mean that you deliberately engage in behaviors so ensure that things go awry.
Trauma can make us become more comfortable with the chaos rather than enjoy moments of peace. Peace can seem so fleeting for so long that we forget how to feel in these moments. It’s more comfortable feeling the way we’ve always felt, even if this means ensuring we introduce more chaos and the cycle continues. We can do this consciously or unconsciously, but it can happen again and again if the behavior is not something we recognize and make a commitment to change.
In order to mentally and emotionally break the chains of trauma once it has physically subsided, we must make a commitment to self to allow in positivity and experience happiness again. This can be much more easily said than done and tends to be tougher the longer happiness has been kept at bay. It can feel far too uncomfortable to even comprehend how to allow it in and truly embrace the associated emotions.
Seek out support if you’re finding it especially difficult to break toxic cycles. You are not alone. Reach out to friends and family who make you happy, join a support group, schedule individual therapy. This is a common symptom experienced in the aftermath of trauma and there are others who have been there and can contest to the fact that a brand-new beginning is waiting right around the corner. But, it has to first start within. Accept the past for what it is, keep pushing forward and practice the serenity prayer in moments of difficulty: God, grant me the serenity to accept the changes I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.