Trauma can make you feel as if you want to dissociate with the ‘self’ as a protective mechanism to cope. Oftentimes, it seems intuitive to “go somewhere else” in order to no longer feel with burden of chaos that is happening all around you. This becomes second nature, almost, and can show up in self-destructive behaviors including avoidance, denial and even substance use.
In the post-trauma state, it is important to reconnect with what’s been lost to regain an understanding and appreciation for the internal self that may have been long suppressed. So, how do you do this, exactly?
Removing toxicity will allow you to return to self. When one is intoxicated, they are off-balance. The effects are all-encompassing in the body, and decisions are difficult to make while the body is fighting to respond to this intoxication. A toxic situation or relationship can be seen in much the same way. The body cannot heal when toxicity is present, and this toxicity very often manifests in an unbalanced environment.
Decisions are difficult to make while living with toxicity because the focus tends to be solely on survival. It is necessary to remove the toxic agent in order to realign and cognitively be able to heal the mind and body. Full recovery is possible when the decision is made to remove toxins and allow the self to stop solely surviving.
Eliminating self-disseminating behaviors is the most obvious way to eliminate toxicity. However, it is also important to dig a bit deeper and release less obvious toxins. One way to do this is to practice the ‘better off’ exercise.
When deciding what needs to be released, reflect on whether you ‘are better off.’ Whenever you’re feeling as if something is off in your body or you’re not feeling well for an extended period of time but can’t pinpoint why, self-reflect on what you’re allowing into your life and where you’re expending your energy. Do connections immediately come to mind that you do not feel comfortable with or know are taking too much from you? Consider who and what might be toxic to you at any given time and ask yourself, “Am I better off with or without this?” If you have a clear-cut answer one way or another, you can move on. However, chances are most of what comes to mind will not be so cut and dry. So, give it time. Return to the same internal conversation again and again, while cutting out those things that you immediately understand need to be.
Journal your journey to keep track of your progress and to more fully connect with self. Doing so will allow you to realize how far you’ve come and what still need to be done. If you are unsure whether you should release a certain aspect of your life, write this down. Revisit it until you’re able to provide yourself with an answer. It is truly amazing how each of us is intuitively equipped with the answers we seek if only we take the time to access this part of us. Meditate and reflect, and the decision will become clear over time by your own willingness to reconnect with your internal guide.