By: Sara E. Teller
Family relationships are complex, and if you have a narcissist in your close family that can make the family dynamic even more difficult to navigate in a healthy way. Dealing with a narcissistic parent or other close loved one can be fraught with challenges, especially because these individuals often engage in a range of manipulative and emotionally abuse behaviors despite the fact that they’re supposed to care for you.
In order to cope with narcissistic family members and not continue to be victimized you’ll need to have a lot of self-awareness and coping skills whether in their presence. If you are struggling to deal with narcissistic family members, these tips may help:
Learn More About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The first step in coping with narcissistic family members is to educate yourself about narcissism and the behaviors that are associated with it. This knowledge will help you recognize common behaviors that narcissists use to manipulate and control others, including a lack of empathy, grandiosity, lying and manipulation. Understanding the nature of the disorder and how to spot it can provide you with a sense of control and clarity whenever you’re in a situation in which this toxic family member is present.
Set Healthy Boundaries
This is an absolute must. Establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial when dealing with toxic people in general, and this is especially true with narcissism. Clearly communicate your own personal limits, expectations, and consequences for boundary violations. It’s also essential to be consistent in enforcing your boundaries and not allowing them to be crossed. Boundaries help protect your emotional well-being and prevent narcissists from manipulating or controlling you. The stronger and more consistent your boundaries, the easier it is to protect your energy.
Learn To Gray Rock
Gray rocking is a very effective way to deal with a narcissist’s behavior. Simply put, gray rocking means not reacting to the attempts of the narcissist to taunt you, bait you, or provoke any kind of reaction. When the narcissist no longer gets the attention that they’re looking for from you they will move on to another target. It will likely take a few very blatant and desperate attempts before this happens (so stay strong!), but it will happen. Narcissists need supply and gray rocking prevents them from fulfilling this need.
Maintain Emotional Distance
It’s not only important to keep as much physical distance between yourself and a narcissist family member, but it’s also crucial to create as much emotional distance as possible. This involves tending to your own mental and emotional needs and allowing yourself to heal as much as possible from those invisible wounds the narcissist has left in your life. Doing so means maintaining rigid boundaries and giving yourself the space that you’ll need to fully process these things.
Coping with narcissistic family members can be draining. It’s essential to maintain perspective and recognize that their behaviors are a reflection of their own issues, not a judgment of your worth. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for their actions or feelings, only your own and that you have a right to protect yourself.
Practice Self-Care
Protecting your emotional well-being means practicing self-care and making this a priority. This includes engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and stress relief. Exercise, meditation, and engaging in hobbies can all be helpful in managing the emotional toll of dealing with narcissists.
Seek Support from People That You Can Trust
Coping with narcissistic family members can be isolating and emotionally draining. Seeking support from trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can offer a safe space for you to express your feelings and receive validation can be extremely helpful. Sharing your experiences with those who understand can provide the comfort and support needed to protect one’s energy and self-worth.
A therapist can provide you with strategies for managing the emotional impact of these relationships and help guide you in setting boundaries and coping with the stress they may cause. Talking to a therapist that specializes in NPD and narcissistic abuse can help you maintain your boundaries and not fall victim to gaslighting from your narcissistic family members.
Be Consistent
Above all, it’s important to remain consistent when it comes to working on healing from the inside out and carrying out strategies to do so effectively. Narcissistic family members may try to break down your boundaries over time, especially if you’ve been successful at keeping them in place. They may indulge in extreme behaviors to try and get the reaction they want when they haven’t been able to do so through less aggressive means. Valuing one’s worth means maintaining barriers put into place to help ward off the damaging effects of this kind of abuse.
A Final Word…
Coping with narcissistic family members can be very difficult. You may feel as if you’re always on guard, and in a way, you need to be in order to protect yourself. But with education about NPD and narcissistic abuse, good relationships with a therapist, friends, or other family members, and a commitment to self-care you can effectively minimize the overall impact of this insidious abuse for a long time to come.