The Importance of Self-Care in the Aftermath of Abuse

By: Sara E. Teller

Narcissistic abuse can take a toll on one’s mind, body and soul. It can impact every aspect of self, making it difficult to reconnect with positive traits in the aftermath. As a result, victims of narcissistic abuse often experience feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and shame. It’s important for those who’ve been put through this experience to rediscover those pieces of themselves that they once loved and enjoyed. In doing so, it’s possible to heal sustainably.

The best way to heal from the inside out and regain self-efficacy is through a meaningful self-care routine. Let’s take a look at the nature of narcissistic abuse and its impact on mental health, as well as strategies for self-care after experiencing narcissistic abuse.

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse that is characterized by a pattern of manipulation and control. It is often perpetrated by individuals who have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissistic abuse can take many forms, including verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, and gaslighting.

The psychological and emotional effects of this form of abuse can be devastating, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) over time. Additionally, victims may experience a range of physical symptoms, including headaches, digestive issues, and chronic pain, among others. The impact on mental health is often long-lasting and can have a profound effect on an individual’s ability to form healthy relationships and engage in self-care even long after the abuse ceases.

Boundaries, Self-compassion & Self-care

In order to begin the healing process after experiencing narcissistic abuse, it is important to establish healthy boundaries. This may involve setting limits on communication with the abuser, as well as identifying and avoiding triggers that may lead to feelings of anxiety or distress.

Practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness is also key to self-care after experiencing narcissistic abuse. This may involve engaging in activities that promote self-care, such as exercise, meditation, and therapy. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction, such as yoga or mindfulness meditation, can also be helpful. By prioritizing self-care, individuals can begin to rebuild their self-esteem and regain a sense of control over their lives.

What is Self-care, Exactly?

Again, self-care should focus on all aspects of a person’s life – from physical, to social and emotional.

Physical health.

Physical self-care practices involve taking care of one’s body through healthy habits and routines. Adequate sleep and rest, regular exercise, and a healthy and balanced diet are all important components. Getting enough rest, in general, allows the body to repair and rejuvenate itself, leading to increased energy levels and improved mood. Regular exercise not only helps maintain a healthy weight but also reduces the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease and diabetes. And, finally, a healthy and balanced diet provides the necessary nutrients for the body to function optimally, leading to improved physical and mental health.

Emotional health.

Emotional self-care activities might include mindfulness and meditation, journaling and self-reflection or seeking therapy. Mindfulness meditation involves paying attention to the present moment and observing one’s thoughts and emotions without judgment. This practice has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety and improve overall emotional well-being. Journaling and other self-reflection tools allow individuals to process their thoughts and emotions and gain insight into their own behavior. Seeking mental health support can be beneficial for individuals who are struggling with anxiety, depression or other symptoms following abuse.

Socialization

Social self-care practices involve taking care of one’s social and spiritual well-being. Maintaining healthy relationships with family and friends, setting boundaries and saying ‘no’ to avoid burnout, and seeking support from a community or support group are all important components of social self-care. Healthy relationships provide a sense of belonging and support, which can improve overall well-being. Setting boundaries and saying no allows individuals to prioritize their own needs and avoid overcommitting themselves. Finally, seeking support from a community or support group can be beneficial for individuals who are going through difficult times or struggling with mental health issues.

Barriers to Self-care

There could be many barriers that may prevent individuals from engaging in self-care after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Fear and shame associated with being a victim of abuse can make it difficult to seek help or engage in self-care activities. Additionally, the cycle of abuse can be difficult to break, leading individuals to feel trapped and powerless. Lack of resources or support can also be a very real barrier following isolation at the hands of an abuser.

Luckily, there are many resources available to individuals who have experienced this toxicity, including support groups, therapy, and online communities. By reaching out for help and support, individuals can overcome these barriers and begin to prioritize their own well-being.

The Bottom Line

Self-care is an essential component of healing after experiencing narcissistic abuse. By understanding the inner workings of this harmful dynamic and its impact on mental health, individuals can begin to take steps towards self-care and healing.

Here is a list of 20 self-care ideas that can help to jumpstart your healing journey:

1. Read a book.
2. Sit on the front porch and enjoy the quiet.
3. Take a bubble bath.
4. Take a leisurely walk.
5. Take a nap.
6. Do something crafty.
7. Watch a comedy movie or funny videos online.
8. Go to bed earlier.
9. Call a friend or family member.
10. Take a mental health day.
11. Sip your favorite tea.
12. Take a drive somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.
13. Try out a new hobby.
14. Join a yoga or exercise class.
15. Sing in the shower.
16. Listen to a podcast.
17. Put your phone on do not disturb for the day.
18. Go on a solo vacation.
19. Wear a colorful outfit.
20. Declutter and reorganize.

Break the silence, break the cycle.