By: Sara E. Teller
The impact of narcissistic abuse on the victim can be profound and lasting. Sadly, the ways that this type of abuse impact the victim aren’t always evident at first and will sometimes only be seen as life plays out and various new situations arise. This is such an important, meaningful topic considering how narcissistic abuse can damage virtually everything victims do and experience.
A potential connection between narcissistic abuse and addiction is a particularly troubling topic. It might not seem at first that addiction problems and narcissistic abuse are directly connected, but a closer look points to a different reality.
The Damage Done
The connection between narcissistic abuse and addiction can be traced to the emotional harm that is cause by the abuser. Even if the victim has gotten out of the relationship and has started to move on, it’s never easy to leave this abuse in the past. Without the right help, and perhaps professional treatment, deep emotional scars could extend into physical consequences, including addictive behaviors.
In many cases, addiction will start out as just the occasional indulgence as a way of temporarily letting go of stress and relaxing. For some, however, those temporary escapes can become more common over time, ultimately leading to physical dependence if a person isn’t careful.
Not All Addictions Look the Same
When talking about addictions in this context, you are likely first imagining problems with things like drugs and alcohol. To be sure, substance use is common among survivors of any type of abuse, and this is a serious matter. The escape that the substance provides at first quickly fades away and the addiction might even become a bigger problem than the original abuse. Intervention from loved ones, and help from professionals, will often be needed to get back on track.
With that said, it’s not only drugs and alcohol that can become problematic addictions in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. Other issues, that might seem less serious on the surface, can also turn into dangerous addictions that can take a serious toll on the victim’s quality of life. When drugs and alcohol aren’t involved, these are called process (behavioral) addictions, and can include the following –
- Overeating. Using food as a form of escape seems mild at first until it leads to long-term weight gain and a host of serious health problems.
- Gambling. Financial ruin can shortly follow the use of gambling as a way to emotionally escape the harm inflicted by the abuser.
- Compulsive shopping. So-called “retail therapy” might be fine in small doses, but it too can lead to major financial problems and can also prevent the victim from properly confronting their issues in a meaningful way to put them in the past.
Much like substances, these addictions can lead to a sought-after high that allows individuals to temporarily ecape their problems. And, just the same, over time, they can cause long-term issues.
The Road to Recovery
Once it is clear that a victim of narcissistic abuse has developed an addiction, getting help – whatever that looks like – should become the top priority. Addictions are serious and will usually get worse on their own if no action is taken to deal with the matter and the underlying emotional issues that are leading the individual to remain addicted.
The right treatment plan will depend entirely on what the person is addicted to and why. For example, an addiction to drugs or alcohol may require a more structured clinicial treatment to break that cycle and chemical addiction, while a problem with something like gambling or shopping can typically be addressed with outpatient therapy. It might be successful to simply get help from family or friends to start the process of getting rid of an addiction, but many people will need professional guidance resolve the problem. And, it’s also important to remember that this job is never done, and ongoing support will be required moving forward to stay on the right path and avoid drifting back into bad habits.
Addiction is tragically common in today’s society, and narcissistic abuse certainly has a role to play in this crisis. The harm that is done by an abuser can directly lead the victim to seek relief in a variety of unhealthy ways. The more this form of abuse is recognized right from the start and victims are able to get out sooner, the less likely they’ll suffer from self-sabotating behaviors like addiction in the aftermath.
Break the silence, break the cycles.