This month, we’ll be talking about various ways in which you can learn to release stress and rebalance your life in the post-trauma state. Trauma is all about chaos and experiencing a loss of control. It is difficult to manage life when you feel as if you have no control over what is going on around you, and because of this, trauma can also induce self-destructive coping. Toxic behaviors have to be unlearned in order to move forward in this next stage of life. In essence, trauma has to be accepted and released.
There are many ways in which you can destress in the post-trauma state and once again find balance and peace. Doing so requires making a commitment to yourself to enjoy life. It means staying motivated to heal despite knowing that the past cannot be changed and realizing that the future will be what you make of it. When you make this commitment, you are taking back lost control and deciding that you, and you alone, have power over your actions and reactions to the events of your life.
One way to release the trauma of the past is to release connections with the people, places or things that induce ill-feelings. These are often referred to as “trauma triggers.” It is okay to sever ties with those things that only perpetuate toxicity. And, it is necessary to create a beautiful second draft.
When you decide to cut ties, not everyone is going to understand this decision, and that’s okay. You are doing this for you. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else, right? It’s okay if not everyone is on the same page, and to put yourself first every now and again. Being continually re-exposed to the trauma you’re trying to leave behind by allowing yourself to continue to be triggered is counterproductive.
Part of cutting out what no longer serves you may mean reprioritizing your responsibilities and eliminating those things that you feel are no longer needed. If you have always worked a full-time job as well as maintained three volunteer positions and moonlighted as a freelancer, you might want to let some of these responsibilities go. While it is admirable to try and take on so much, doing so will keep your stress levels at an all-time high and you’ll be unable to focus on a self-improvement plan because you’re far too busy just trying to make it from point A to point B. Unload those things that you feel you can and realign your priorities so you can relax a bit.
You can also choose to live more in the present than you may be used to doing. Present moment thinking seems counterintuitive, and thus, it also takes work. Once you get the hang of it, however, you will realize that not only were you powerless over controlling the trauma of the past, but that the future is largely uncertain, so living in the moment will allow you to live life to the fullest.
A solid self-care plan to include those things that bring you joy – such as hobbies and past-times, an exercise routine, socializing with friends and family or challenging yourself to new adventures, is another way to destress and remember to enjoy life. You don’t want to overdo your self-care strategy by placing too much on your plate at once, and thus, inducing more stress. Rather, you might decide to meet up with friends one day, do fifteen minutes of stretching or mediation each morning, or pick up a book from your favorite author. This journey has to be all above maintaining balance and taking baby steps towards self-improvement.
Because human beings are social by nature and trauma can induce isolation, it is important to reach out to those who you want in your inner circle even if you inadvertently shut them out during a difficult period of time. Remember the saying, ‘Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter.’ Those who truly love you for who you are will pull up a chair and lend an ear when you need it. It is also important to solicit the support of a license therapist and/or join a support group for trauma survivors. Therapists can provide you with meaningful tools to keep in your back pocket to release stress and further along the healing process, and connecting with others who also survived trauma will provide you with a sense of community and help you unload the burden of the past so you can continue moving forward without it.
There are many ways you can let go of stress in the post-trauma state. It’s simply important that you continue to. And, if you feel as if life is becoming all too chaotic once again, recognizing this before you’re too overwhelmed is vital for sustainable recovery. Only by releasing the toxic patterns of the past and becoming determined to introduce positivity into your life will you be able to break the bonds once and for all.