By: Sara E. Teller
Dealing with narcissistic abuse is an unfortunate reality for countless people. While no one deserves to be subjected to this kind of treatment, it is all too common and a frequent obstacle for many to deal with in life.
The situation can be made better with an understanding of some of the ways that this type of abuse can be combated. Most likely, it won’t be one single thing that marks the successful approach to narcissistic abuse, but rather a combination of tools and techniques that wind up allowing the victim to move forward with life in a more positive manner. The five ideas laid out below should help you or a loved one confront this difficult situation.
#1 – Set Clear Boundaries
This is one of the leading ways to approach narcissistic abuse. A common pattern within narcissistic abuse is the crossing of personal boundaries, and once those boundaries start to be crossed, the abuser will typically continue to go further and further moving forward. By setting boundaries and holding firm with those boundaries consistently, you can protect yourself and make sure a relationship stays in a positive, healthy range.
Of course, it should go without saying that upholding those boundaries is perhaps the hardest part of this process. If you are only setting your boundaries “on the fly”, trying to decide what is okay and what isn’t okay as you go, it’s going to be difficult to draw a clear line and stand firm. So, it’s important to think about these things ahead of time and commit yourself to the process of being consistent with what is allowed and what will not be tolerated.
#2 – Using Self-Care Actively
Many narcissistic abusers aim to erode the self-confidence of their victims. When a victim has a low level of self-worth and optimism about the future, that person is less likely to draw a firm line and fight back against the emotional abuse that is taking place.
It might not be easy, but one way to counter this outcome of narcissistic abuse is to emphasize ongoing self-care. By taking time – and money, in some cases – to place value on yourself, it’s possible to keep your self-worth high and your tolerance for emotional abuse low. The actions you take to invest in yourself will go a long way toward reminding you that you have worth in the world and that the abuser does not get to define you in any way.
#3 – Getting Support
One of the key tactics to use with any kind of mental health issue – and being the victim of narcissistic abuse is certainly a mental health issue – is to get help. Trying to deal with these kinds of things on your own is particularly difficult and troublesome, and it will usually be a failed venture. The help you seek could come from a friend or family member, or it could come from a therapist. It doesn’t matter so much who it is that provides the assistance, as long as you get the help you need in a timely manner. Maintaining a consistent channel of communication open with a person who is able to give you the positivity and guidance that you need at this time can be invaluable.
#4 – Pursue Legal Action, If Necessary
In many cases, it won’t be necessary to pursue legal action in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. However, sometimes, going through legal channels will allow you to feel more secure in the situation and place a firm, binding boundary between yourself and the abuser.
Deciding whether or not to go through with the legal process is another area where having support can be so helpful. Another person can see the situation more clearly than you can see it from the inside. If another individual thinks that taking legal action would be smart to protect yourself and your interests, it might be worthwhile to do just that.
#5 – Ending the Relationship
For individuals who are still in an abusive relationship, getting out of that situation as soon as possible is often the most important step of all. With narcissistic abuse, it’s often easy to get caught up in the pattern of thinking that the other person will change, or that you are somehow to blame for their actions. Those thoughts are rarely true, however, and typically the only way to move on with life in a positive manner is to clearly end the relationship and go your separate ways.
There is nothing easy about facing narcissistic abuse in its various forms. You may not want to deal with this challenge – and no one can blame you for that – but standing up to it with the help of the five options above will be in your best interest over the long run. Explore a variety of strategies and techniques to deal with narcissistic abuse in an effort to land on methods that are going to help you move past this situation as quickly and positively as possible.
Break the silence, break the cycle.