By: Sara E. Teller
The word narcissism gets used often in our selfie and celeb obsessed world. Many people use the word narcissist to describe an individual who is unnecessarily full of themselves. However, if you’re looking at the word narcissism from a psychological standpoint, it doesn’t just mean to overly self-love.
It is much more accurate to say that people who have narcissistic personality disorder are in love with an idealized version of themselves and who they portray themselves to be. They’re in love with the idea of the person they so effortlessly pretend to be, simply because it allows them to avoid their relentless feelings of insecurity.
A narcissist works hard to ensure that their true self doesn’t get exposed. Their impulsive and volatile actions are in a sense ‘masked’ until they no longer can be. That’s where dysfunctional and inappropriate behaviors start to come into play.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves a destructive pattern of self-centeredness, as well as arrogant thinking and behavior, which includes a complete and utter lack of empathy and consideration for others as well as an excessive need for constant admiration and acknowledgement from those around them.
Others typically describe people with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) as cocky, manipulative, selfish and patronizing with a bad habit of being extremely demanding. Unfortunately, this particular way of thinking and behaving appears in every area of a narcissist’s life from their work environment and friendships to family and romantic relationships. Every aspect of their lives is affected (much like their victims).
Individuals who suffer from NPD are extremely resistant to any type of change to their destructive behaviors regardless of the issues they cause. Their immediate thought process is to turn the blame on to everyone else…deflection is an inherent narcissistic trait.
Oftentimes these individuals become extremely sensitive and react negatively to the slightest of criticism, viewing these comments as personal attacks. This is why many people shy away from engaging with narcissists, causing them to lose friendships, work acquaintances and personal relationships.
Unfortunately, if a narcissistic person suffers from additional mental health disorders (i.e., Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder) it can become much more difficult to gather the diagnosis of NPD due to the likelihood of similar symptomology.
Diagnosing NPD is typically based on:
● Signs and symptoms given by both the patient and by close family & friends.
● A physical exam to be certain that it is not a physical problem that is causing symptoms.
● A thorough psychological evaluation that may include filling out questionnaires and completing a number of tedious, computerized tests.
Ultimately, very few individuals seek help for their narcissistic behavior, mainly because they do not recognize there is a problem to begin with. With intensive psychotherapy it is possible for individuals who suffer from NPD to learn to identify self-destructive patterns and to incorporate healthy coping mechanisms into their daily lives.
Though it is not easy, and is a long and potentially lifetime commitment, admitting to having traits of NPD is a promising start. If a narcissist can do this, it means they want to change for the better and this is a good sign for both themselves and those in their inner circle.
Break the silence, break the cycle.