People, by nature, like to feel in control. Yet, the trauma that inflicts one’s life is often uncontrollable. Because victims of trauma live in a state of feeling helpless, often not having any control over what is happening, it is not uncommon for victims to turn to addictive behaviors to cope. Of course, when an addiction develops, this only makes things worse. The situation becomes more uncontrollable. When this occurs, a trauma victim is even less likely to summon the strength to break free.
Those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder are also commonly treated for trauma-induced co-dependency and abuse-induced substance use, both of which are addictions that had stalemated them, locking them into a vicious, toxic cycle for, likely, far too long. Whether or not substances were used as a poor, short-term solution to numb the pain, victims may have trauma bonded with an individual inflicting physical and emotional turmoil – a phenomenon known as Stockholm Syndrome. An addiction to the captor, or to any number of things, is a perceived way to cope and control the uncontrollable when the victim feels there is no way out.
It’s important to understand that the desire to maintain control is derived from fear. It is also important to note that the world, in general, is largely uncontrollable whether living in a traumatic state or not. Thus, our fear instills in us a desire for an outcome that simply isn’t attainable. Instead of living in the constant and continual discontentment of trying to maintain control in an uncontrollable world, we must choose to release the need for control altogether and find peace in acceptance. From there, we will create room to grow in the space fear once occupied and will develop effective coping strategies rather than continually turning to toxic behaviors.