It is very important to take care of yourself after you’ve been victimized by abuse. Narcissists, along with the other Cluster B personality disorders (borderlines, antisocials and histrionics) and combination disorders, such as psychopathy and sociopathy, are notorious for projecting their faults onto their victims. By doing so, it releases them from holding onto the shame of their disorder. By dumping the bad onto others, the narcissist is able to keep living with his or her falsely flawless self. This makes the individual’s life more bearable.
After told being we are everything that we were once pretty sure the narcissist is for entirely too long, we begin to harbor self-doubt, self-spite, confusion and distrust that we will ever again be whole without our partner. This is a very purposeful goal of a narcissist. It is one that ensures total control, and it helps the narcissist to keep us trapped.
Once we summon the strength to leave, we are left in a rather uncomfortable space. Highly anxious, likely with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, we aren’t really sure where to turn. We feel as if every decision we make in the aftermath of abuse cannot be trusted, and that we’ll never be whole again.
But, we can. That’s the beauty of having escaped. We can be whole. Here are some tips for moving forward.
The 12 Steps for Healing
Step One – Rediscovering Yourself
Step Six – Meditative/Resting Phase
Step Eight – All-Encompassing Self-Review
Step Eleven – Pulling It All Together
Step Twelve – Mentoring Others