We are our own worst critics. And, oftentimes, our thoughts can be all-consuming. There is a negative internal monologue, this unwelcome noise, that races through our mind and devours any hope for reinstating joy and peace.
As trauma survivors, we need to learn to quiet the noise. We need to actively begin practicing how to turn off these negative thoughts and transition them to more positive ones. We are the keepers of our own on-off switch, and only we can control what enters and exits.
We have to actively practice decluttering our minds. This means, as we begin to focus on self-care, part of the routine needs to be to induce a lasting sense of calm. Trauma causes undue and prolonged anxiety and panic. Often, after traumatic events, we remain indefinitely hypersensitive to stimuli, constantly wondering when the “ball will drop,” so to speak, and we’ll have to put out another fire.
Most of this hypersensitivity is unwarranted. Of course, life is chalked full of unexpected interruptions and responsibilities we couldn’t have planned for. This is just what it means to be human, and every now and again, we’re going to be met with unpleasant circumstances we’ll need to circumvent.
However, PTSD sufferers tend to stay stuck in a limbo state in which they are unable to relax and simply enjoy the blessings of life. They are always wondering what’s around the corner. And, this is especially taxing to the mind, body, and soul.
How can you quiet the noise?
First things first. Make time for yourself. Set aside time for self-reflection. You have to garner a better understanding of the most common cluster-inducers that pollute your mind in order to be able to release this. Are you constantly worried about your children? About your job? About what others think of you? What is this weight you carry?
By finding quiet moments alone to analyze your thoughts, you’ll begin to be able to comprehend the aftermath of trauma and how your circumstances have affected you in a deep way. You’ll begin to understand how your core has been impacted. And, in understanding how it has been altered, you can then focus on what you’re going to do to replace this negativity.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is particularly helpful. If you are constantly worried about your children – why? What specifically worries you? Are you in a split custody situation and are constantly paranoid something bad is going to happen on the other side? Work to understand exactly what ails you, then discredit those negative thoughts and feelings wherever you can. Has anything happened thus far? What makes being with the other party unsafe? What can you do to make you feel more secure when they’re away?
Then, you can move a bit deeper. Where is this need to maintain control coming from? Why do you feel you have to actively monitor your children’s every move to feel comforted? What will you do when they are at x age and are doing y or z? Pinpoint specific life events and actively work your way out of the worry you think you will inevitably feel.
When we take the time to better understand ourselves, we also begin to understand how successful we can be at helping ourselves out of a negative state. We are trauma survivors, and thus, we are incredibly resilient. The worst part is over. Now, all we have is time. And, we need to take the time to work on quieting any residual unpleasantness and taking back our lives once and for all.