Oftentimes after being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, we have mixed feelings. This is because while it feels good to understand where many of the uncomfortable symptoms are coming from and why they’re there, now that we have this understanding, we may feel somehow separated from the rest of society. We feel as if we’ve been branded with something socially unacceptable that we cannot possibly expect others to understand, because we have yet to learn self acceptance.
So, we keep our PTSD diagnosis a secret. We don’t even tell those closest to us. We refrain from indicating our illness on a job application. And, we desperately try to blend in with the world around us while we’re left struggling inside. Until, eventually, we can’t keep it a secret any longer. The symptoms become too debilitating and they creep to the surface.
This is no way to live.
There has traditionally been a stigma surrounding mental illness with those who don’t suffer dismissing a diagnosis as fictional or miniscule while those who do quietly living in discomfort. Luckily, times are changing, and more awareness is being created around what’s been plaguing us all along. PSA campaigns have emerged and are commonplace in social media. We’ve seen the #MeToo movement take off and television commercials discussing the importance of seeking therapy courtesy of Michael Phelps. No longer is it acceptable to allow those who have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or post-traumatic stress disorder, among many others, to suffer in silence.
The first step in the healing process is acceptance. We have to accept that we cannot change the circumstances that led to the development of PTSD. We cannot hit rewind and retreat into our past, tweaking things until we’re sure we’ll be able to create a better outcome. We must accept our diagnosis and focus on the present. We have to understand how we got here and how we’re feeling today. We also cannot direct our thoughts too far into the future before we can accept where we’re at right now.
This is the concept of mindfulness.
If we can accept where we’re at in the present and allow our thoughts and feelings to emerge without judgement, we can then take action to improve our circumstances. The healing process cannot begin, however, until we take this initial step. And, acceptance cannot come from anywhere but within. You have to genuinely accept your circumstances for what they are and learn self-love in order to being to move forward effectively.
Don’t rely on the acceptance of others.
You must believe in yourself in order for others to believe in you. Relying on the acceptance of others without doing the internal work will lead to a vicious cycle from which it’s hard to break free. If you suffer from abuse-induced PTSD and had the courage to leave, relying on the perceptions of others will trap you in a cycle of co-dependency. You will likely re-enter into an abusive relationships time and again, never developing the coping skills to indefinitely regain a healthy sense of self need to heal.
Learn to love yourself first.
Make sure you have mastered this initial step before rushing into a new partnership or rushing into social situations that will only drum up PTSD symptoms. Take as much time as you need. You don’t have to explain this process to others. You, and only you, will know when you’re truly ready to move forward.
Those who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder and affiliated mental health ailments are best-positioned to break the stigma. We understand the detrimental affects of these disorders and how they impact our lives. We know it’s real. And, we can need to learn to rebuild.
Rebuilding is possible. You must believe to receive. Break the silence, break the cycle.