Sitting still. So much easier said than done. It’s especially difficult to sit and relax, taking quiet moments to rest and review how we feel after we’ve been through substantial trauma. We get so used to living in panic mode that it becomes second nature and taking time to be idle and alone with our thoughts seems nearly impossible. The longer we’ve lived in this chaotic state of being, the more difficult it is to break once we’re finally able to relax, appreciating stillness for signifying newfound serenity.
Reprogramming our bodies post-trauma is important, as this will help us truly release the damage and start fresh. If we continue to stay highly alert at all times, this often equates to paranoia, and paranoia is a prime symptom of PTSD. If we’re constantly running on all four cylinders, our energy becomes quickly depleted. When our reserves are low, we can’t expect to effectively function. If we don’t practice stillness, the constant motion will fully disable healing.
So, the first step is to actively work toward being able to relax again. Just as anything else that has to do with our health and well-being, doing so takes work. We can’t simply expect to wake up one day and be able to return to our pre-trauma state or to completely change the way we do things if the traumatic state is all we’ve ever known. We cannot reasonably believe, either, that it’s enough to run ourselves into the ground and relax only when our minds and bodies begin to break down and we’re essentially forced to do so.
A lot of the symptoms of PTSD include reliving the same negativity we felt while living in a state of trauma. This means, by nature, they are symptoms of feeling uneasy, tense, stressed, distrusting and constantly ready for “other foot to drop,” so to speak. Just as we cannot constantly worry about what tomorrow will bring and expect to live in peace, we cannot constantly live in a state of unrest and expect to feel balanced and released from our trauma. Balance and release are evident only in stillness.
Mindfulness. It’s truly the key to effectively moving forward. And, full body relaxation needs to be an in-progress goal of ours at all times until it feels achievable, tangible, easy. Let’s say you’ve lived most of your life eating bread, pasta, and other gluten-laden foods. They are in every inch of your kitchen. But, one day, you develop a life-threatening gluten allergy. Is it going to be easy to give up all of your favorite foods, clean out your eating space entirely, replace with all new ones, while retraining your body to like these? Of course not! Does it beat having to be rushed to the hospital or worse? Of course! It’s necessary, so you do it, whether or not you like it initially. Eventually, this new state of being, however, will become second nature.
You’ve made it to the other side! You’re free. Physically. Now let yourself complete the healing process and free yourself mentally. Relax. Even if you fidget, check your phone, have to get up and use the bathroom repeatedly, whatever. Set a timer and practice mindfulness – noticing these things. Then practice ACT therapy – what can you do to change them and do better the next time the timer is set? If it helps, start your journey to relaxation by exercising – walking or jogging, practicing yoga. If you must be moving while trying to relax, do it. Do whatever it takes, just remember to do it.
The mind is a funny thing, you see. If you tell it something long enough, it will begin to believe it. Eventually, we will believe we can be at peace, and we will be. Fake it until you make it and don’t give up. You’re worth it!