Let’s review the differences between genuine narcissism and mirroring, particularly with regard to therapeutic intervention. Essentially, there are individuals who are true, to-the-core narcissists and there are those who have been around Narcissistic Personality Disorder for so long they begin to mirror associated behaviors. Those who mirror the traits often simply don’t know how to otherwise express themselves with regard to certain aspects of their lives. They’ve watched those around them respond to others by using narcissistic tactics, and therefore, begin to believe this is the proper way to handle situations. The biggest difference between an individual with NPD and one who is mirroring, however, is that the person mirroring may feel bad for responding this way. They will likely still do it, but will realize the behavior seems abnormal, and they are inwardly empathetic toward others. True narcissists cannot feel any of these things. They are incapable of understanding that hurting others is wrong and they shouldn’t do it. They may logically realize they’re being socially deviant, but they can’t comprehend why it’s such a big deal. So, these individuals will continue to deviate without any repercussions to their own emotional state.
From a therapeutic standpoint, it’s important to determine whether a client is a genuine narcissist or simply mirroring, and this is because those who are mirroring can actually be encouraged to change their behavior. The very first way a therapist can make this determination is simply by observing the fact that the client is actually seeking treatment, and then assessing how he or she came to be sitting in a session. It’s highly unlikely a person with NPD will actually seek out treatment for this disorder. So, typically, a pathological narcissist will only be sitting there if he or she is requesting help for an ancillary issue or has been forced into the chair by an acquaintance or by the court (i.e., dragged into couple’s counseling or forced to attend by sobriety court order). Next, the therapist may observe how compliant the client is with any goal-setting discussions and the likely motives behind perceived compliance. Does it appear he truly wishes to change his behavior, or is he trying to bait his prey so she’ll stick with him just long enough for a discard? Do his motives seem genuine, or is he just trying to gauge the therapist’s perceptions of him and gain information that will help him up his game?
As you can imagine, determining whether someone is a true sociopath or not is difficult, to say the least. Narcissists are seasoned manipulators. However, those who are mirroring can be inspired to restructure their thought processes and behavior so they may live healthier, more fulfilling lives. If someone is seeking treatment because she suffers from low self-esteem, depression, anxiety or any other negative emotional state because of her poor self-concept and the self-defeating ways in which she interacts with others, a therapist’s ability to identify this and intervene may literally save a life.