If you’ve seen the 50 Shades movies and are at all familiar with narcissism, chances are you were instantly able to make a connection between Christian’s character and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. According to the Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, NPD is “a severe and pervasive personality style that underlies an individual’s entire approach to others and the world around him or her.” Christian is wealthy, charismatic and charming, and he is able to seamlessly transition from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde, from his public to private persona. Only his intimate partner is aware of who he is behind closed doors, and he even makes her sign a nondisclosure! While most narcissists will not require a written agreement to keep their secrets, victims, in essence, enter into verbal contracts made good with the use of threats and manipulation. Entering into a marital contract with a narcissist also accomplishes this purpose. And, individuals who willingly enter into contracts with narcissists because of similarities regarding traumatic events are said to be engaging in “sadistic bonding”. They are taking pleasure in the fact that another has felt the same pain they have. Misery loves company, after all.
So, what is the difference between sadism and narcissism? Not much, perhaps. Sadists are defined as those who “derive gratification from punishing, harming, or abusing others”. Hello Christian Grey, a man of 50 shades — much like a narcissist who wears his many masks. And, when a victim inflicts narcissistic injury, her revenge-seeking captor wants nothing more than to punish her for doing so. In some cases, the narcissist physically harms this individual. With or without the physical retaliation, he will undoubtedly evoke mental and emotional distress, just the same as a sadist. So, one could argue the narcissist’s and sadist’s desire to abuse is one in the same. All the more reason to run.