One could argue that how we spend our time defines who we are. There are a few hours each day that we need to use to tend to daily obligations, such as work, family, and sleep. And, the rest is up to us. Even those standing ‘obligations’ are choices we’ve made, right?
We choose our occupation, what we do to engage with others, and how much sleep we get. So, each second of each day is a result of decisions we’ve made. And, these decisions matter.
In the aftermath of trauma, perhaps we’re spending too much time analyzing the past and how we’ve been changed because of those unpleasant circumstances beyond our control. Maybe we’re spending too much time in our own minds, inducing anxiety and depression, creating an uncomfortable disposition and isolating from others.
We need to learn to take back these moments and put them to good use before our entire life has passed us by. We can take these moments of despair and turn them inside out, allowing positive energy to flow in and giving it back to the world around us.
So, how do you spend your time?
There is a common thread among trauma survivors. Studies have shown, regardless of the traumatic circumstances endured, they are united in that they exhibit admirable personal strength, seek deeper relationships with others, have a new, elevated perspective of and appreciation for life, and are more in-tune with their spirituality.
There is an actual term for this – post-traumatic growth.
When post-traumatic stress is turned into post-traumatic growth, some beautiful things start to happen. A victim becomes not only a survivor but someone who thrives in their current state, whatever that may be. This person is happier than ever before, more complete than ever before. They feel alive, connected, and fulfilled perhaps for the first time.
How we spent our time in the post-traumatic state can make or break us. In order to experience growth, we have to make time for it. We have to make time to self-reflect and understand who we’ve become and how we want to live moving forward.
We have to set boundaries.
Many trauma sufferers are also co-dependent empaths. This means they have trouble creating healthy boundaries with others. They allow others to break them down and use them until they feel completely void of any joy. And, this happens time and time again. So, the possibility of re-entering the same state of feeling overwhelmed and trapped in negativity is highly probable, unless healthy boundaries are identified and practiced.
Take the time to develop healthy boundaries. Trauma survivors need to stick up for themselves. They need to know how and when to say ‘no.’ And, they have to release any guilt associated with doing so. They need to understand when they’re feeling stretched too thin and take back their time.
Only you can take back your time.
Only you can say ‘no’ and create sustainable boundaries. When you get used to doing so, and focusing on self-care becomes second nature, you will begin to live again.