It’s good to set goals for ourselves. Goals mean different things to different people because our circumstances differ. We can even make the same goals, but the importance can vary largely on the individual. To get out of bed may be a simpler prospect for someone who’s healthy hoping to be more productive than it is for someone living in chronic pain.
However, we have to realize that goal setting will only take us so far, and we can aspire to do many things with good intentions but have to eliminate, revamp, and realign our goals as we go due to the inherent uncertainty of life.
It feels do to set goals for ourselves and begin taking action steps to reach them. It feels especially good once we begin to get results. However, we can easily get deflated by setbacks. And, if we allow setbacks to take the wind out of our sails and never brave the waters again, we will forget about their importance and stagnate.
Humans have developed an unhealthy aversion to the word “no.” We don’t like to hear it and we don’t like to tell others we can’t. It’s counter-cultural to take no for an answer or to put up boundaries when we’re being stretched too thin. Yet, it’s essential to become comfortable with giving and receiving “nos” in order to self-actualize.
Sometimes when we hear “no” in response to something we solicit, it’s the universe’s way of telling us to stop and take rest. We need to feel deterred just enough to reconsider how we’re spending our time and energy. After all, it’s very difficult to slow a ball in motion, right? We get the ball rolling and start checking things off the list, sometimes without ever pausing to consider whether we have it in us to continue before we’ve made it through.
What’s worse, we can reach the end of our goal sheet, and as we cross out the last to-do, realize everything on there is irrelevant to who we are at the end of our journey. So, by not taking a moment to reflect halfway through and racing to the finish line, we’re right back to where we started. There is nothing more exhausting than realizing we’ve accomplished everything on our list only to have to triple it because our focus was off.
As we begin to learn the practice of present-thinking and utilize mindfulness techniques to check in with ourselves throughout the healing process, we will waste less time. We will conserve more energy. We will feel complete, for the first time ever, maybe. And, this is because, by always circling back to center, we gain a better understanding of where we’re at and who we’ve become.
Don’t let your tasks snowball until you feel as if you are spiraling out of control again. This will lead to the very same post-trauma symptoms we’re trying to move away from – panic, anxiety, paranoia, and ultimately, depression. If you dig a hole you feel you can’t get out of, the cycle will repeat itself in perpetuity.
Stop the ball. Grab it before it’s too late. Take hold of your life and consider the importance of your present self. There is nothing wrong with crossing out a to-do item that is totally irrelevant to your current circumstances and doesn’t need to be done. In fact, this should feel freeing. It’s one less thing you need to worry about. Practice mindful thinking and continue to circle back while you’re working toward your goals. Then, when you reach the bottom of the list, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment you may have never thought possible. This newfound confidence is exactly what you need to heal.