Pathological narcissism, also termed subclinical narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is largely misunderstood. This is because it’s a disorder that can go unrecognized or undiagnosed for a prolonged period of time. True NPD is a variant of psychopathy and is a serious condition that affects the welfare of everyone in the individual’s life.
Because narcissists possess characteristics that can, at first, be viewed as beneficial or socially productive, people are attracted to them and often aspire to be like them. Narcissists are generally especially powerful in their professional lives. They possess an instinctual drive that pushes them to the top and are go-to resources for their leadership skills and ability to manage others. What’s more, narcissists are risk-takers. Therefore, they typically aren’t afraid to drive change.
Of course, there is a downside to these traits. Subclinical narcissists aren’t just driven. They are driven to the point that they will stop at nothing to ensure they get to the top and stay there. This means, if challenged in their quest for power, they will seek to destroy their opposition. And, nothing is off limits. They also tend to totally disregard standard rules that apply to anyone else vying for their social or professional position. Cheating, cutting corners, or throwing others under the bus are just some of the common tactics narcissists will use to eliminate competition.
Narcissists cannot be wrong, either. If they make a mistake and are called out by senior leadership, those with NPD will be especially furious. Any criticism will hurt deeply. So deeply, in fact, psychologists have termed their reaction narcissistic injury. The narcissist will seek revenge on whoever challenges him and will not stop until they’ve completely destroyed their opponent.
While research is still somewhat limited, some believe that pathological narcissism exists along a spectrum. Others believe there are simply variants that present differently or are motivated by different factors. For instance, while one narcissist may be on a quest for power because of deep-seated anger, another may be attempting to prove superiority in order to mask a pervasive feeling of inadequacy. The commonality between these variants is that the pathology is derived from trauma often experienced in the narcissist’s early years.
Pathological, or subclinical, narcissism is typically not immediately apparent and is difficult to diagnose. This is why it’s especially detrimental. Usually, by the time the smoke and mirrors have been recognized, a victim is well into a professional or personal relationship with this individual, which makes the realization especially shocking and hurtful.
What’s more, by the time the narcissist’s mask falls off, typically colleagues or mates really don’t know what to do about it. Removing this person from their lives isn’t simple and takes planning. There’s often a sense of anxiety and dread that lingers as those in the narcissist’s circle figure out next steps. This is especially true because those who have witnessed the truth often describe it as believing something is wrong, but it’s hard to explain. Or, they know something is off, but no one else will believe them, because, if taken at face value, all seems well.
It is not uncommon for a narcissist to have a significant following by the time the cracks start to show, or have, in some way, secured control over important aspects of a business or household. They are attracted to financial power, and normally hold important positions connected to finances. This may mean the narcissist controls project budgeting or a family’s budget, and is determined to manage this budget without the input of others. Once others realize the need to transition budgetary responsibility away from the narcissist, they have been in the dark so long, they have no idea how to smoothly do so. They are caught in a Catch-22.
Again, any move meant to take away the power of a subclinical narcissist has to be carefully planned out. It’s often best to collect solid evidence concerning why this adjustment needs to happen and keep one’s cards close to your vest. Expect the narcissist to retaliate, and in the retaliation, manipulate and lie to the fullest extent. Having evidence to the contrary will prove to be vital in battle. Never underestimate the gravity of the narcissist’s response.
Stay true to yourself and stay courageous. Remember 1 John 3:18: Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. While it’s not easy to expose a pathological narcissist, this individual is dangerous, and the truth is bound to save others.
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