Sara E. Teller

Hoovering includes a constant need for the narcissist to consume your attention, particularly if you are involved in a situation in which you can easily call him out on lying.  He needs to reassure himself that you two are “okay” and you will remain silent no matter what.  So, he will go to great lengths […]

Let’s talk a little about acceptance.  As we release ourselves from the clutches of narcissistic abuse and move into this new realm of hope and opportunity, unfortunately, we are also hit with some negative emotions, such as disappointment or depression, perhaps anxiety about the future. Just when we think we can truly “live again”, we […]

Let’s talk a little about secrecy and the narcissist’s need to maintain secrets about everything. Two very common and interrelated traits of classic narcissists are their need to maintain control by pushing boundaries and rule breaking.  Individuals who engage in this type of shady behavior obviously need to be good secret keepers.  As far as […]

A note about narcissistic control and how this differs from showing genuine concern or truly caring about a spouse.  I know this sounds silly, but sometimes it’s easy to confuse unhealthy control with normal relational boundaries.  It’s all in the narcissist’s delivery.  Individuals with NPD are manipulative and they’re extremely skilled at asserting control in […]

  If you look up codependency up in a dictionary, you’ll see it’s defined as “an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.”  In other words, co-dependents rely on the emotional well-beings of their partners in order to fill their own cups.  But, […]